A sad misunderstood man who lives in a castle of regret upon a hilltop of doom, far from social interaction and reality. Often surrounds himself with various computers that simulate a social life, and clings to people he meets on the Internet as though they're The One due to not having any real knowledge of interpersonal relationships to put things in perspective. Often found browsing the thinkgeek website with a hand down his pants and feeling sorry for himself.
"hi IRC, Have you seen Amy?" - "No" - "How about now? Now? Now? Now? Sigh, I love her" - "Dude, you're such an Edward Penisfingers"