Dwarves are annoying little creatures that manage to bug the hell out of the forum users on divachix.com
Those girls are such dwarves!
Perfection, that is what dwarves are, simply perfection. In the ages before myths the gods created the Dwarves, (stout, strong, short, and posessing a rare kind of genius) so that they might be the stewards of the world, and care for the lesser races such as the elves who are too busy nancing around poles to be much good.
Elves themselves were created to be burned. Hence the name "wood elf," short for "wood substitute."
A racial member of the Dwarves recounting his last worldly deed: "Oh aye, I helped that Elf's wife with her garden. It only took a minute for me to get her tulips to open, and then she let me plant a mighty oak below her bush. Which sadly might of been a crab apple."
Little people who were sodomized by Elves in the 1st and 2nd age of the parallel dimension and world to ours called Middle Earth. They lived in mines and inside the mountains for the most part. Many Dwarves died during the Stank Mines period, which Elves would buttrape Dwarves till they died from an exploding rectum. Not all Dwarves died during this act of sexual conquest but 50% of their population were wiped out and 35% of that population's death were suicides. Some Dwarves were captured by Gondor to be mated with Hobbits to produce claymation looking creatures called Dwarbbits.more...
For a period of 1000 years the Elves pounded the little Dwarves' ass holes day in and day out. They were restricted to a population control managed by the Elves so they could not revolt. The Dwarves finally turned the tables and took over the Elves and killed most of them by the use of thrusting their axe handles into the pootbox of the Elves. Most Elves were allergic to this act thus it killed them.
During the time periods the Dwarves were free of getting fudge packed they were a powerful group of people and were rich with rare types of metal, ore, and cocaine. They stuck with cocaine and couldn't keep up with the demand of their dealers so Middle Earth sodomized them for not producing...
Dwarves are the most sturdy race. They are also shorter then most, due to centuries of adaptation to underground homes.
Dwarves are alcohol dependent. They can survive without alcohol but they do slowdown becoming sluggish and grouchy. Dwarves uses alcohol as energy rather then intoxicant. NEVER DRINK WITH DWARVES.
Dwarves love gems & metals and much of there time is spent underground. This can lead to consequences for dwarves who don't get out, mainly cave adaptation.
Dwarves are a friendly race trading with the smelly elves and the humans. Dwarves and Goblins are natural enemies. after seeing each other they will immediately start kicking, punching, and biting each other to death. Dwarves mostly ignore kobold.
Dwarves are a Monarchy. A king who is supreme leader, barons who command regions, and Mayors who rule settlements. All positions can be held by either gender.
Living up to 170 years of age dwarves are very clever building complex traps and tools out of whatever is on hand (rocks)and are the only race afflicted by fay-moods that make them seek out parts to craft items of legendary quality, needs not being met can lead to depression, rage, insanity, and nudism.
Killing animals enemies and plants is ok so long as they are sanctioned. A dwarf committing assault and vandalism are punished. Killing, treason, ect. are punished by death. Lying is a personal matter.
The dwarves of Bad girder where a quick witted bunch with many traps and death machines protecting them but nothing could stop the booze drought.