|1.||Dumb Bitch Gnome|
If your suffering from Dumb Bitch Syndrome, the Dumb Bitch Gnome will find you, and break your phone. The Dumb Bitch Gnome (DBG) prefers expensive phones and, typically preys on drunk girls in washrooms, those who choose to ass pocket their phone, and those who have recently taken to duck facing their facebook, twitter, etc...
Symptoms include cracked screen app, water(often of the toilet variety) damage, "it wont turn on or charge or i don't know why", "i lost my phone", or "my phone got stolen, i hope no one finds those pictures".
Beware Siri has a direct line to the DBG and, frequently notifies the DBG upon receiving dumb questions.
Dude1 - "Kerren lost her phone last night at Dave's party"
Dude2 - "really man? thats like her 3rd one this year"
Dude1 - "serious dude, the Dumb Bitch Gnome has it out for her"