The most awesome pet there ever was. (He is pink, so obviously he's awesome.) His real name is Dude Devil Dudecifer, but he is called "Dudecifer" for short. He will make you feel as small as a daisy (but you don't need to lie on his belly-summit, because that's pretty creepy). Hm...what else can be said about Dudecifer? People on acid wonder if he exists. People not on acid wonder the same thing. Dudecifer is the MOST AWESOME MYSTERY PHANTOM PET ever to exist.
(And we won't abandon him, like you abandon your fish at the end of the year.)
"Yeah, I wanted to get a pet, but YOU GUYS are the ones who wanted to name him Dudecifer and dye him PINK..."