Dude 2: Yea? and how did that go?
Dude 3: I got pregnant! and I am unable to remove it from my shaft.
Duck Taupe will not break or tear except tearing holes through the universe like a black hole. It is better than duct tape because Ian will not have a chair collapse beneath him ever again. Duck taupe is awesome and will save lives.
Why haven't I won the Nobel Prize for scientific discovery? Because Alfred Nobel is dead. Duck Taupe killed him.