"Where's the map!?!" Try looking up your ass.
Speaking of, that map is more fucking annoying than Dora.
"I'M THE MAP, I'M THE MAP, I'M THE MAAAPPP!!" Oh shit, seriously? It's a good thing you told us, we for SURE wouldn't be able to figure that one out without you shouting it in our fucking ears for 3 minutes.
Map: I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map I'M THE MAP!
*10 minutes later*
I'm the map I'm the map I'M STILL THE DUMBASS FUCKING MAAAAPP!
What do they do after their half-an-hour show is up?
Nobody knows... except Diego, Dora's cousin. He joins in on the "festivities".
I swear in some episodes, where Dora and Boots are fed, someone sneaks some Crack into their food/drinks.
Boots: Uh.. Dora... Little kids are watching.
Dora: so fucken what! Let's tell them how to buy drugs off a stranger.
Boots: First, we need the map
Dora: FUCK THA MAP!
THIS SHOW IS NOT EDUCATIONAL AND ALL THE ANIMALS AND OBJECTS SPEAK SPANISH.
This 4 year old is high and is allowed to go anywhere she wants. Even to another country WTF?!
Dora Would pull out a talking map.
He would tell them to go to the destination while passing 2 places.
And after the y pass all 2 places..they ask the viewer where to go. WHAT A LOAD OF RAT SHIT. Theres a gay Fox and all he does is steal Doras items that are worth anything. And to stop him, They would say "no swiping!" 3 times, and the fox would run away like a BIG PUSSY. Imagine Toddlers saying that to thieves in real life! :O
Dora: Do you see the lake?
Viewer: Ur right in front of it retard.
Dora: Well done! we found the lake!
Someone in their right mind: AHAHA You dumb fuck.
It stars a retarded little Mexican (no offense to Mexicans, just saying this particular girl is retarded) and a little monkey who wears red boots, cleverly named "Boots," who's sole purpose is to whine the entire show.
Dora the Explorer goes on "adventures" every SINGLE day, including different countries. When she asks questions such as "where is MY friends, Boots?" then the camera zooms in on Boots, who is "Hidden behind" a bush. After the kiddies are supposed to scream "BEHIND THE BUSH, RETARD!" Dora congradulates us on a GOOD JOB, "mi amigos"
then, she speaks perfect Spanish when she's like, four, and so does inanimate objects, such as the infamous "map" who screams "I'M THE MAP, I'M THE MAP, I'M THE MAAAAAAAAAAAP!" about sixteen times until we cut our ears off. Then he shows us THREE locations that we must go through to get to our destination, such as "The good witch's garden".
After the map shows us, Dora retardedly asks us where to go, as if she hasn't hear the map's irratating instructions already.
At some point in the show, the sneaky "Swiper the Fox" tries (and sometimes succeeds) to steal something LEAST VALUABLE to Dora-- like a flower--and if he does, he throws it in a bush or something. When he comes close to Dora, she points her finger at him like a homo and screams SWIPER NO SWIPING at him. Then swiper snaps his finger and says awwwwwww man! and runs away into the forrest like a pansy. If any kid tried this in real life, like pointing their finger at some gangstas and screams swiper no swiping!, they'll get shot or something.
Summary: Dora's a show that was made by Nick producers on crack.
Did you just search Dora the Explorer on Urban Dictionary? and did *I* just type a definition?!
Boots: say "abre", say "abre"!
Boots: umm dora nothing happened.
Dora: I swear this thing has to speak spanish!
Boots: youre tripping balls dora!
Dora: youre right. i love you boots.