Step 1. Shave your head. If the dog is long haired, shave the dog's posterior and rectum area as well;
Step 2. Feed dog laxatives and/or muscle relaxants disguised as doggie "treats" so that the dog rectum will expand and dialate wider;
Step 3. Lube now shaven head (if laxatives were used in the previous step, excess feces may be used as well);
Step 4. Place dog on top of head, rectum covering top of head. Careful for the head may become submerged in the rectal cavity causing suffocation;
Step 5. Spin dog.