Jay: Dude, I had like 5 cigarettes left b4 I got up to sneak a leak. I'm not so drunk that I'm about to be sittin on a beanbag in a soiled pair of undies, eatin cheetos while I masturbate to the gilmore girls.
Liz: Lawl. Dilligafah.
Jay: I just snorted not 1, but 2 lines of coke off of not 2, but 3 hookers' chests. Then we all 4 made sweet beautiful love. The kind of sweet beautiful love they sing rap songs about and outlaw in southern states. Then we washed, rinsed and repeated until we were all dehydrated. Life is good.
So, tonight I kill myself as king of the world. Literally, things cannot get better. I have reached the pinnacle of life, and not just my life, but the zenith of existence itself. Bliss, Nirvana, Utopia. I am at the top of the mountain pissing down on the rest of you. Unfortunately, the days ahead of me will never be as good as tonight. So I have nothing to look forward to.
It is truly the best night that could and will ever be, which is why my life must end tonight. Life can now only get worse. Nothing is left for me here in this world. I already won. Every seemingly joyous moment from here forward would be compared to tonight and fall miserably short. So, I'm going out on top, high as hell, feeling good, and my seed spread in and among three beautiful women.
Liz: Oh. Did you find five dollars?
Liz: I dunno, I didn't listen to a word you just said.
Jay: Wow. Nice dilligafah response.