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1.
wife who examines husband's genitals carefully and critically, especially for any sign of infidelity.
Dicktective: (wearing magnified glass and getting a noseful of her husband's penis and shaking her head in disbelief.)
Husband: Look .. before you say anything, I haven't washed my cock since we last had anal.
by Dettol January 24, 2012
 
2.
A person (mostly female) scouring a party looking for the most likely guy to bang with the least resistance possible. These are often slutty small-town females who are only moderately attractive, but are used to being the life of the party because every other chick where they come from is ugly and fat. They often are infested with a wide array of STD's and other ailments, emotionally and otherwise...
Brian: Hey Dave what happened with you and Shawna last night? Did you hit?
Dave: Na bro, she was a dicktective, I wouldn't touch that with a 10 foot pole, i.e. my dick...
by Misterperfect February 19, 2010