Fregley: Dear Gregory, I'm very sorry I chased you with a booger on my finger. Here, I put it on this paper so you can get me back.
Little Kid: when i grow up, i'm gonna be a professional basketball player!
Greg: think again, shawn! neither one of your parents is taller than 5 foot two and you're the only 200 pound six year old i know!
Little Kid: *crying
Greg: i cannot tell a lie
Old man at his birthday party: next year, i want a chocolate cake!
Greg: that is, if you're alive next year!
Guy 2: I read the book and saw the movie and they both annoyed the fuck out of me