- Sweaty Fingers
- Uncontrollable desire to say "derp".
- Cyber Sex Sessions as to propagate the disease.
- Chat sessions as to propagate the I.T.D
How to cure:
No known cure has been found, yet. Derp.
Anonymouse: We sure did. Lmfao.
Anonymous: Nice name . Derp
Anonymouse: Oh fuck, you have derpes, don't you? Derp.
If contracted, stay indoors and contact your GP immediately, but do not - under any circumstances - converse with them for any longer than needed, lest you infect them in turn with Derpes.
Doctor (on telephone): Good Lord. Are you capable of any coherent speech?
Patient: wat is cohurrent
Doctor (infected): herf i dunno lol
Normal dude: Actually, I can't. I've just been diagnosed with derpes. I've got these gross pus-filled boils on my shaft.
Some time later…
Nasty bitch #2: Can we fuck now?
Normal dude: I can't, I've got derpes. Highly contagious. My dick oozes nasty goop when it's near pussy. Doc says I've gotta stay away from women, and try to be gay for a while.