Witty person who spends money on drugs: This, you inferior life-form, is only the greatest work of modern literature to ever have been revealed to our humble species. It is called "The Internet is a Playground."
Ignorant practioner of medieval metaphysics: Yo, who's the author, bitch?
Witty person who spends money on drugs: The author is none other than David Thorne, also known as the bat who stands in the middle of the mall discussing bats and being misunderstood.
Ignorant practioner of medieval metaphysics: *brain explodes*