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1.
Since the sexual revolution of the mid-1960s, theoretical biologists have been aware of a unique mystery lurking within the foreskins of gentiles all over the world. Upon calculating the amount of smegma that would be necessary to produce the intensity of odour that was emanating from the penises of uncircumcised males, it was discovered that the amount required would be more than four times the quantity of smegma that was detectable. To resolve this apparent paradox, it was theorised that an invisible substance, named dark smegma, was responsible for the excess odour.

To date, no dark smegma has been detected, though the consensus within the theoretical biology community is that a breakthrough is imminent.
"I apologise for the smell, it's not that I don't wash or anything, I guess I must just have a lot of dark smegma, perhaps I should get cut?"
by Minotawr October 14, 2011