When your woman is lying down on the bed, you tell her to close her eyes. You tell her that you are going to surprise her and you get her all hot and ready for some sweet lovin'...gigitty. Then when she isn't looking, you get out a Roman Candle with an extended fuse and lube it up nice and right so that it slips in smoothly and she doesn't notice it isn't you. Then you light the fuse and run away.
John: "Dude, your girlfriend is totally preggers! How you gonna act??"
Steven: "Dawg...its cool. I gave her a danish hysterectomy yesterday. Now let's go get fades."