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26. Dane Cook
I accidentally saw this person on TV. He was telling how he used to be ugly but now is handsome with women falling all over him. He also told other "jokes."

Since I have not seen him on TV in many months, I suddenly missed his brand of absolutely no talent. Today I decided to write a short poem about the "comedian" known as Dane Cook.
I once saw Dane Cook on TV
Irritating the heck out of me
I watched in a trance
As he made faces and pranced
And asked myself, "What morons are paying good money to watch this crap?"

The end
1. Dane Cook
The Gallagher of our generation. Dane Cook is a "comedian" that everyone seems to love despite his extreme mediocrity. His amazing lack of jokes combined with his ability to run around the stage like a five-year-old without his meds appeals to anyone without a soul or any knowledge of comedy. His trite and obvious observations contain no punchlines and often appeal to people with short attention spans.
You ever go into the bathroom and everything is WET? The floor is wet! The counters are wet! Everything's wet!

-Dane Cook

Uh... could it be because people piss on the floor and wash their hands aggressively?

-Andy Kindler
2. dane cook
A terrible comedian who's known for stealing jokes from earlier, talented comedians such as Louis C.K. universally reviled, only teenagers with half a brain think Dane Cook's funny.
I can't believe you like Dane Cook, you probably like Carlos Mencia too.
3. Dane Cook
Standup comedian famous for his wild stage antics and the creation of the hand gesture known as Su-Fi. He has performed many venues including television specials and night clubs. He is also a member of the "Tourgasm" comedy group and recently released a comedy CD.
Dane Cook is so funny I wet myself.
4. dane cook
A chuckle-at-best of a comedian who will disappear as quick as he came. 20 years from now, he'll be as memorable as Yakov Shmirnoff or Paula Poundstone. You may have already forgotten about him and his stolen, tired act by the time your done reading this.
guy: what the hell is wrong with your hand?
dude: it's the sufi. You know.... Dane Cook.
guy: Who?...oh right that guy. (pause) I hate that I know you.
5. Dane Cook
An overrated actor/comedian who isn't the least bit funny and is known for stealing his jokes from Louis CK. all he ever does is swear a lot and tell all these uninteresting and unfunny stories about his pathetic life, expecting people to laugh. Plus he's a singer, but a very, very bad one.
Dane Cook: Why do they call bananas bananas? Shouldn't they be called FUNanas because theyre fun and they're full of deliciousness? Isn't that like the point of eating a banana? Well that's why I eat a banana now STEP OFF!

Retarded audience: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! That Dane Cook.....
6. Dane Cook
poop
I just took a massive Dane Cook
7. dane cook
A stand-up comedian who has become popular as of late. Known for his wild stories and eccentric manner. He is one of the newest comics on the rise. He has released two CD's, "Retaliation" and "Harmful If Swallowed." Has also appeared on numerous TV shows and had a minor roll in the movie "Waiting."
That Dane Cook is a silly bitch.
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