The act of being, and the official language of the douchebag. Douchebags can be recognized by their Ed Hardy attire, spiky over-gelled hair, spray-on tans, brostaches, failure to wear a shirt over their wife beater, and their strange vernacular. Use of words abbreviated like "legit" (legitimate) "ridic" (ridiculous) "jelly" (jealous, mostly used by the female species of douchebag) and most importantly YOLO (a word too douchey to to even define). They often refer to others of their kind as broski, and end their sentences with "yo".For them, dancing to songs like "gangnam style" and Ii'm sexy and I know it" is serious business, as they seem to believe they have "moves like Jagger". Often found in Jersey, douchebags are to be avoided at all cost. If, however, one finds themself unavoidably interacting with a douchebag it is recommended you use long words and DO NOT look directly at them. Prolonged exposure to douchebags has been known to cause douchebaggery in others. Run, fast and far, from a douchebag.
conversation spoken in douchebaggery
mike--hey broski, wanna hit the bar tonight? i heard the bitches are gonna be legit ridic down there tonight yo (rubs fake-tanned arms) and i am looking FRESH (checks out roided muscles in nearby window)
brad--yeah, brah, i can't wait to get my grind on some skanks. (he checks out roided muscles in nearby window) damn i'm swoled up yo, it's wife beater time for sure tonight yo.
mike, brad & tj--YOLO!!!
The greatest word of all time, simple yet pleasing in its onomatopoeic beauty. For one to commit douchebaggery, he/she is not limited to but may include some or perhaps all of the following behaviors:
- the wearing of flat-billed baseball caps backwards
- using an enormous amount of gel to spike the hair porcupine style
- wearing polo shirts or any other type of shirt with the collar popped, a disgusting gesture that should've died in the 1980s with parachute pants
- the sideways peace sign gesture
- overdone pursing of the lips
- too many visits to the tanning salon
- pointing at oneself, holding up beer cans, or making other obscenely immature gestures in solo or group photos
- following trends for the sake of fitting in (see "goatee
- adding "The" or the suffix "-ster" to one's name, as in "The Rickster"
or perhaps frat boy
for more. Essentially, "douchebaggery" is one of those things as easily understood by definition as it is by one's demonstrations of it.
At least guys with mullets can cut their hair, but there seems to be no cure for the douchebaggery exhibited by frat boys overcompensating for their small members.
Presenting one's self in a manner that inspires those around you to wish death and/or serious injury upon you.
Those four guys should be shot for committing such unrelenting douchebaggery.
1)The philosophy held by douchebag
s, holding that no one other than themselves (or perhaps their close associates) matters in the least bit, and thus that other human beings can and should be treated like complete excrement for little or no reason (and often for selfish reasons). Closely related to fascism
, which has been practiced by control freak
s such as Adolf Hitler.
2)The act of putting this philosophy into practice.
1)Some notable (historical and otherwise) adherents of douchebaggery: Josef Stalin, Mao Tse Tung, George W. Bush, Adolf Hitler, Andrew Jackson, George Lincoln Rockwell, Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan
2)Examples of douchebaggery in practice, varying in scope and intensity (in the order of the above adherents): fascism; violent political oppression; winning an election through obvious fraud and subsequently invading Iraq based on admitted lies; the Holocaust; the genocide of the Native Americans; the founding of the American Nazi Party; more violent political oppression; declaring jihad on an entire country and slaughtering 3,000 innocent cubicle workers as part of it; declaring a War on Drugs based largely on the delusion that "every one of those goddamn bastards out to legalize marijuana is a Jew" (direct quote from President Richard Nixon); treating the Constitution and the natural environment as a set of obstacles to be overcome.
Please refrain from discussing your BMW or IPod any further and end this douchebaggery.
The act of being a douchebag
Adam is an expert in douchebaggery.
There was much douchebaggery afoot at John's party last night.
Fem: Look what Kevin Wolff did!
John: That was an act of pure and unadulterated douche baggery. Tisk tisk...