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1. D.E.N.N.I.S System
The D.E.N.N.I.S. system refers to a fool proof system enabling men to obtain a woman's undying love, accompanied by life love devotion (if the man so desires). The D.E.N.N.I.S. system was made popular by Dennis Reynolds, a fictional character from Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia. The system, although original in name, is similar to "The Effect," which also goes by the separate name "DJGorbeism," popularized by D.J.G. When one engages in "the effect" they are "IN EFFECT."

D- Demonstrate Value
E- Engage Physically
N- Nurture Dependence
N- Neglect Emotionally
I- Inspire Hope
S- Separate Entirely

The way to win any girl's heart.
Example of the D.E.N.N.I.S System/In Effect

Kalie, "Hey this is some good pizza."
Dennis, "You're the one that is good."
2. The M.A.C. System
The M.A.C. System refers to a remarkably simple system that every male puts into effect at one time or another. The M.A.C. stands for:

M-Move in
A-After
C-Completion

In short, once one of your friends is done or broken up with a girl, you silently move in to support the girl in her time of dire need. Crushed and heartbroken, the girl will talk incessantly, but will eventually open up sexually. It can be noted that this system requires almost minimal effort and simply nodding and listening works, combined with a few hugs.

The M.A.C. System was made popular by Mac, a fictional character from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. His system is highly underrated and deserves as much attention as the D.E.N.N.I.S. System.
Example #1

Dennis: "What is this swooping in business?"

Mac: "Oh that's my system,The MAC: Move in After Completion. I wait til you're done with them and then I swoop in, give them a shoulder to cry on, then we hump."

Dennis: "You've been humping these girls after I'm done with them?"

Mac: "Oh yeah dude! I'm swimming in your wake."

Example #2

Robert: "Hey, Charlie, you get laid this weekend?"

Charlie: "Yeah, Mike broke up with Holly on Thursday so I used The M.A.C. System on her and we made sweet, passionate love."

Robert: "No kidding? Bump it."
3. The F.R.A.N.K. System
A systemic approach to seducing a girl, and eventually ruining her life. If followed correctly, this system is guaranteed to make any chick go insane and hate you forever.

F.R.A.N.K. stands for:

F-uck her on the first night
R-uin her vagina, self-esteem, and reputation
A-ct like you don't know her the next day
N-eglect her need for emotional support
K-ill her dog a week later

This system is inspired by "The D.E.N.N.I.S. System" from It's Always Sunny...

.
"Why is that girl over there crying in a corner about how much she hates guys and misses her dog?"

"Apparently someone used the F.R.A.N.K. system on her."
4. The Dennis System
Made famous in the tv series It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Dennis Reynold's fool proff system to get any girls undying love and devotion for life.

D- Demonstrate Value
E- Engage Physically
N- Nuture Dependence
N- Neglect Emotionally
I- Inspire Hope
S- Seperate Entirely

The way to win any girl's heart.
Kalee- "The pizzas good."
Dennis- "Your the one thats good."
The Dennis System
5. Punched in the Kisser
Normally it would mean taking a punch to the face, but in Russia punch means stab and kisser means anus-hole.
Russian mobster: If you don't have the stuff by monday you're dead.
American guy: What if I need an extra day or two?
Russian mobster: In that case you will simply be punched in the kisser.
American guy: Punched in the kisser? That doesn't sound so bad.
Russian mobster: If you say so, in Russia punch means stab and kisser means.. how you say.. Anus Hole
6. Deology
n. (Dee-ah-lo-jee)

(Also known as 8=Deology)

The study and science of the "D," D standing for "Dick." When using the word deology, this is usually in reference to estimating a man's erect penile size. This science has been used unconsciously by women and homosexual men for mating purposes and straight men for territorial purposes for thousands of years. Only recently has it been put into words, and then into a standard procedure, known as the scale of Deology. The standard procedure is as follows:

On a scale of 0, 0.5, and 1 (0 being the lowest, 1 being the highest), please rate the chosen individual on the following factors:

1. Height
2. Size of phalanges, metacarpus, carpus (hands)
3. Size of shoes
4. Pitch of voice (Low voice equals 1, medium voice equals 1.5, high voice equals 0)
5. Swagger/Ego (or Swego)

A few things must be taken into account.

For height, if individual is extremely tall, the 1 point for "Height" must be intensified when adding points together.

For size of hands, if individual is short but has large hands, the 0.5 to 1 point must be intensified when adding points together.

For size of shoes, see size of hands.

For tone of voice, 0 points for a high voice, 0.5 for a medium voice, and 1 for a low voice.

Also, if "Height," "Size of hands," and "Size of shoes" are lacking, one must take into account that the former three are typically genetic. Pitch of voice, however, is attained during puberty due to release of testosterone into a young man...
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7. F.L.A.B.B.S.
A ratings system employed by a male and his buddies to accurately assess the aesthetic value of a female counterpart.

The acronym of F.L.A.B.B.S. stands for the five areas of the female specimen that are rated in F.L.A.B.B.S.:

1. Face
2. Legs
3. Ass
4. Boobs
5. Brains
6. Stomach (overall tone of the girl, i.e. chubby would not score well on number 6)

N.B. Number 5, Brains, can be removed from the system if subject is unknown to male doing the rating, and would hence not know her intellectual capacity.

Each of these categories are scored out of 10 to give a total F.L.A.B.B.S. score out of 60.

Result analysis is as follows:

50-60: Amazing, banging, wow, iewufrwoghurigsr
40-50: Hot
30-40: Still probably hit that
20-30: You'd have to be drunk
10-20: A disappointment to males worldwide
0-10: Run the FUCK away!
Guy 1: dude, she's smoking!

Guy 2: I know mate, what would her F.L.A.B.B.S. be?

Guy 1: True, umm well face 9

Guy 2: Legs a safe 8

Guy 1: 10 for that fiiiiiiine ass

Guy 2: Chuck in a 9 for those hooters

Guy 1: But dude she's wearing heels to a football game, not the brightest, 5

Guy 2: Yeah true, but she saves it with that body of hers, 9 for stomach

Guy 1: (whips out pocket calculator) thats a 50! She's banging.
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