vampire obsessed individuals who cum over the thought of vampire related sex acts.
Cumpire1337: "Oh I love shooting my milk at the thought of a vampire sticking his teeth in my balls and sucking the sperms out!"
An anorexic and sometimes toothless prostitute who is really into buying new clothes and doesn't want to spend any more hoe doe than absolutely needed on food, therefore, said hoe is extremely proficient at giving very fast yet majorly cum-blasting blowjobs to as many guys as possible, and tries to fill up on said cum.
Lyla is not very pretty, but she is a super cumpire. She'll suck off the entire football team in less than a half an hour and swallow every single drop of cum!
Women or men who love to swallow sperm or even drink it from a glass. Some believe sperm to be the true fountain of youth and immortality.
Say your gettin' a really good blowjob and when you finally jizz it gets on your hand and all over her face. If she's a true cumpire she'll lick your fingers clean and wipe her face off with her hand and lick it all off and she may even suck your buddy's dick just to get a taste of more hot sticky cum.
Similar to a vampire, instead of blood it needs cum to survive.
Oh no! The cumpire's are breaking into the sperm bank again..
a vampire who sparkles in the sun, rather than turning to ash.
Guy 1: dude, did you hear about that movie twilight?
Guy 2: no, what's it about?
Guy 1: a buncha vampires who play baseball and sparkle in the sun.
Guy 2: fuckin cumpires.
A being of either genders that attacks you ball sack, sinks their teeth in and slurps the delicious bounty.... before/during/after a blow job..
Scott Barry: Damn...my sack is killing me from lasts night date.
John McKinley: What the hell happened last night and why is your crotch bloody?
Scott B: Damnit...I knew it...that bitch was a cumpire...AND I LIKE IT!!!!
Mark Byers: Yeah!!!!
A gay baseball player. Doesn't actually have to be an umpire though.
Doug: Hey man, I just got a job cleaning the bases off at Whocares Stadium!
Justin: Cool, but bend with your knees when you're cleaning them.
Justin: Shawn O. Theded is on the team, and he's a cumpire!
Doug: Ho snap!
Ron Simmons: ....DAMN!!!!