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1.
Use an variety of the Cap'n Crunch brand cereal (Cap'n Crunch, Peanut Butter Crunch, Cap'n Crunch's CoZmic Crunch, Cap'n Crunch's Crunch Berries but not Oops! All Berries), person takes cereal directly from box and pours on to a surface, the flatter the better. Person then takes dominate hand and crunches the Cap'n Crunch underneath their hand, letting all the Cap'ns goodness become one with the palm. Person then proceeds to give partner a hand job to completion. The Cap'n Crunch causes small microscopic tears into the skin, allowing the Cap'ns special goodness to seep into the body, causing for Cap'n Crunch's hallucinogenic experience.

A Crunchy Johannson has been attempted using Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Needless to say the only thing that happened was intense burning, like rubbing icy hot on your balls. He still got off so... it was worth it.
Lauren gave me a super heady Crunchy Johansson with Cap'n Crunch's Cozmic Crunch, all she wanted was Widespread lawn seats, bro.
by A Tall Mofo February 12, 2013