Doctor: Can you tell me what happened sir?
Patient: Ahhhh! It hurts so badly!
Doctor: Calm down and just explain what happened to your penis, sir.
Patient: Carl, that douchebag, snapped off my crotchcicle!
Doctor: How did you get a crotchcicle in the first place?
Patient: Ummm... I was kind of... fucking a snowman.
Doctor: Ohhh, well that's understandable.