n: a implement used in that most booring of sports, cricket. Also perhaps the best cure for depression/anxiety/stress/insomnia/annoying siblings/tax collectors/salesmen money can buy (exept perhaps alcohol). To operate: hold the bat by the thin end (or handle) and then administer a sharp blow to the head with the large flat end, repeat if necissary until your vision becomes blurred/dissapears entirely. would you be interested in buying....oooow
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