A Creepy Brian, or Creepus Brianus to the scientific world, is a species of ignoramus quite common in the urban and suburban areas of the United States. Creepy Brians are an unnecessarily confrontational animal that can often be found being lewd to either sex, regardless of age. Their diet consists of mostly negative attention and Jägermeister with the occasional "munchies" concoctions due to moderate and inconsistent use if soft drugs. Many families and social circles have a domesticated Creepy Brian due to their entertaining reactions to alcohol, over enthusiasm for board games, and how they can't stand being ripped on. However, semi-domesticated, or "stray" Creepy Brains, may attach itself to a social group craving acceptance although clearly not wanted and being generally creepy. Government control of Creepy Brians has been attempted but unsucessful due to heavy protest from animal rights groups such as PETA and CBAH2A (Creepy Brains Are Humans Too Almost). If you find yourself in the presence of an unwanted Creepy Brian, ignore it, and it will eventually get sick of not being the center of attention and migrate somewhere with more Jägermeister.
I saw Creepy Brian on Dateline last night. I'm happy he finally got caught.
by alainaTHEmadRUSSIAN January 25, 2011