someone who drives slow
"that amateur driver in the nissan sentra is such a creeping jesus; she's drivin like 5 miles a hour"
by Big Brown May 06, 2007

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Top Definition
Originally used in Ireland to describe a Catholic making a public display of religiosity simply for show.
Nowadays it refers to those who put on a big act to impress people, hypocritically. They creep around pumping hands and grinning like goons, oozing compliments and uttering clichés, all the while dying for a chance to stab you in the back. If you work with one you'll see people getting fired in their wake, and don't be surprised if you're next.
That Creeping Jesus charmed information out of me and then told the boss everything I said, to get me sacked, and he did the same to ten others.
by Winston Ryder August 29, 2007

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Ninja like skills passed down from the big J himself. Creeping Jesus' don't learn these skills... They are born with them.
Person turns in chair and sees you "ARRGGGHHHH!!! CREEPING JESUS"
'I've been here 5 minutes, didn't you hear me?"
Person "NO!!!"
by Meridia17 June 21, 2011

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A catch all term for being "under the weather" with a cold, flu, hangover, et cetera.
"I was in a cold sweat all night, reeling with the creeping jesus, retching in a bucket and freezing beneath five blankets."
by poetontheone December 03, 2011

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It's someone who's a fawning person. But it's a bit rough, since when is Jesus associated with creepiness? Sure, he hung out with lepers - but that's not creepy. Social suicide maybe...

stalker
"Fuck off, Hugh, you're such a Creeping Jesus."
by Bree Rose August 13, 2007

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going downstairs late night to eat sweets!! ;)
my stomach hurts because i was a 'creeping jesus' last night!
by ive been told i look like a lisa October 12, 2007

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a term jews use for slow drivers, but in reality they are just bashing jesus christ, cause crucifying him wasn't enough apparently.

andrew jewface: you are such a creeping jesus, woman! drive faster!
katie: you and your people are going to hell.
by kkhelmet May 06, 2007

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