1) When one claims to speak Japanese and finally gets challenged to do it, although he/she cannot in reality
2) When one is "meeting the parents" of a mad hot Asian chick and gets overly cocky by initiating a conversation with the two words of Korean/Mandarin that he knows and is forced to continue
3) When one stumbles out of a Tokyo brothel upon losing his V-card and needs to voice his unfettered bliss
"So, you dating my daughter, huh? You better speak some Mandarin!"
"Dude, you totally lost it to that one hooker back there! You should have seen the look in your eyes!"
"YOKOHAMA! SUZUKI! HIBACHI SZECHUAN KIMCHEE NOODLE!"
All of the above are valid, real-life instances of the Crapanese tongue in action. May result in utter humiliation, castration, or arrest.