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1.
Cooter Brown is a name used in metaphors and similes for drunkenness, mostly in the southern United States. Cooter Brown supposedly lived on the line which divided the North and South during the American Civil War, making him eligible for military draft by either side. He had family on both sides of the line, so he did not want to fight in the war. He decided to get drunk and stay drunk for the duration of the war so that he would be seen as useless for military purposes and would not be drafted. Inebriety has been measured against Cooter Brown's extended binge ever since by use of the metaphors "as drunk as Cooter Brown" or "drunker than Cooter Brown."
"Your drunker than Cooter Brown!"
"Lets go get drunker than Cooter Brown!"
"You getting Cootered tonight?"
by MCH1 January 16, 2009
 
2.
One step beyond being "drunk as a monkey."
"D" visited Hot Shots one evening. She consumed an extraordinarily large quantity of Sambuca, as well as a plentitude of Jello Shooters. Consequently, the following morning, she arrived at her place of employment as "drunk as Cooter Brown."
by Ricky Tick March 17, 2004
 
3.
A man who is rumored to have once been very drunk.
"I was drunker 'n Cooter Brown."
-Dan, escaped convict
by Dylan September 14, 2003
 
4.
1. Being extremely drunk.
2. Being extremely old.
3. Can be used to say that something is really bad. Can replace phrases such as "fucked up".
4. Can describe a person who is all of the above. A fucked up old drunk.
1. Last night at the bar, Dave was drunk as cooter brown.
2. That lady is old as cooter brown.
3. That movie was cooter brown, or, "Dude, that was cooter brown, what they did to you.
4. "Look everyone, here comes cooter brown!"
by Reykjavik August 12, 2006
 
5.
1. Being extremely drunk.
2. Being extremely old.
3. Can be used to say that something is really bad. Can replace phrases such as "fucked up".
4. Can describe a person who is all of the above. A fucked up old drunk.
1. Last night at the bar, Dave was drunk as cooter brown.
2. That lady is old as cooter brown.
3. That movie was cooter brown, or, "Dude, that was cooter brown, what they did to you.
4. "Look everyone, here comes cooter brown!"
by Reykjavik August 12, 2006
 
6.
an especially irritated vagina
also an oyster bar in New Orleans
My cooter brown itches
by Hil207 September 22, 2006