The guy that sits directly on the cooler at a barbecue/tailgate/party thereby forcing everyone to have to ask him for a drink. Cooler Cocks track the alcohol consumption of every person at the party and often make derisive comments about your drinking prowess, percevied manliness or girlfriend. Cooler Cocks are also usually the loudest guy at the party that no one really likes.
Thirsty Guy: Hey man can I get in there for a beer?
Cooler Cock: You must work in a hospital because you nursed that last beer all night!
Thirsty Guy: Whatever man, can I just get a drink?
Cooler Cock: Send your girlfriend over, I'll give it to her, if you know what I mean.
Thirsty Guy: Forget it.
Cooler Cock: Oh, don't cry, here's a Girls Light... I mean Coors Light for you.