Condom

Somethin he better where if he wants to get anywhere near me unless he feels like payin for child support for 18 damn years..And if you think ur not a real man if you wear one then don't.. i'm sure u'll feel more like a man when your carryin around a bunch of damn babies!

you'll get no love if you dont wear the glove!

by Joe May 25, 2004

Condom

Prevention from future problems.

Gets a call from a woman. Woman: Hello... Remember the night 9 months ago?
Man: No?
Woman: We had sex...
Man: Aaah... Nice. So you want to do it again?
Woman: The reason why I am calling is to tell you that you have a son.
Man: I am pretty sure I would have known if I had a son, and I guarantee you that I don't have one.
Woman: Enough jokes, funny guy. Your son came out of my stomach last night.
Man: What? But I always use a condom when I have sex... How is that possible?
Woman: Are you saying our son wasn't wanted? You even said you loved me and that you wanted to marry me.
Man: I must really have been drunk that night.
Woman: Get ready to pay child support.
*man shoots himself*

by ad diction August 17, 2012

Condom

A very useful invention that is used by responsible people in an attempt to protect oneself from unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmited diseases. Usually feel like you are "being intimate" with a plastic bag between the parteners

"Did you hear," Scott didn't wear a condom and he got Sarah pregnant!"

by ss_cope July 11, 2008

Condom

Something that might've killed you years and years ago

Father: I wish i used a damn condom, Now i have a mistake right infront of me.

by My big black ass August 10, 2017

Condom

Ending world hunger one load at a time.

I knew I should have bought those condoms! Damn kids are hungry again.

by free_writer15 December 26, 2013

Condom

A rubber glove for the dick so girls and guys can feel safe during intercoarse

Mark : Oh Kaylee you pussy is so soft Ahhh! Mmmmm!
Kaylee : Will you quit rubbing it and fuck it already!
Mark : Gee you don't have to be such a bitch I am paying you!
Kaylee : Just put the damn Condom on and do your business!
Mark : Uh about that I don't have a Condom do you have one?
Kaylee : WHAT! Your the one with the dick Oh god just fuck me without one!
Mark : Ok ill be sure to pull out Ohh! Ohh! Ohh! Oh Kaylee your pussy is so beautiful I love your hairy bush!
Kaylee : Yada! Yada! Yada! Just fuck and keep you mouth shut!
Mark : Here it cum's! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Uhh Oops!
Kaylee : Oops What The Fuck Did You Do?
Mark : Oh nothing we better get back to work!
Kaylee : You came in me that's gonna cost you another $100!
Mark : Uh about that I have no money right now sorry!
Kiersten : WHAT THE HELL IS GOIN ON IN HERE!
Mark : Oh nothing me and Kaylee was just looking for a mop!
Kaylee : No Mark offered to pay me $250 for a fuck he didn't have a Condom so he came in me now he owes me $350!
Kiersten : Well he has $500 and a Condom in his wallet!
Kaylee : Great ill take the $500 and he can keep the Condom!
Kiersten : Hey if you are ovulating I can get you a lot more let's go see my lawyer!
Kaylee : Awesome I would love to have his mustang and big fancy house!
Mark : GOD DAMN'T NOT AGAIN! WHY! WHY! WHY!
Steve : Oh Mark you shouldn't be such a Condom horder they are made to use not save! (wink)
Mark : SHUT THE HELL UP YOU FUCKTARD! (GRRRRR)

by SlopNChop November 5, 2018

Condom

Condom is a small town in the country of France.

Person 1: I'm going on my holidays tomorrow - I can't wait! XD
Person 2: Where to?
Person 1: Condom, in France
Person 2: Lol.

by Dackstar January 23, 2008