If by some terrible way, you find it necessary to dwell here, survival can be assured if you adapt/adopt the local beliefs and customs i.e. bigotry, racism, believing you are the progressive liberal upper crust of society and God's gift to the yokels around you or, conversely, an s.u.v. driving, evangelical, ultra-conservative/fascist/racist pig, Obese, neglectful of your children(emotionally or otherwise). A teenage mother or the 25 year old dead beat dad who knocked her up. Anyone who seems intelligent and resides here falls into one of three categories.
They are filthy rich and that makes swimming in this sea of stupidity bearable, or they are between the ages of 17-35 and are pseudo-intellectual hipsters who make fast food, pull levers for a living, or cater the locals in order to pay for their drugs, those most likely being methamphetamine or pot, as they are very abundant in this area(see looser). Lastly, they are the locals who never managed to escape the town and are most likely to live out the remainder of their lives in the area working at jobs they hate, congregating to the bars that aren't overrun by obnoxious hipsters (see douchebag) like Scores, to complain about their jobs. They seem to have I.Q.'s, emotional and otherwise, of no more than 85. This is due to years of broken families inadvertently as well as purposefully inbreeding. Youth in the anti-intellectual movement reproducing at young ages are currently raising the next generations of Colombians (see white trash)
Local: "Yup, that's the guy."
Out-of-Towner: "Why is he so fucking stupid? people like that shouldn't be allowed to breed."
Local: "Of course he can, he lives here in Columbus, IN"