Top Definition
When a girl goes down on a guy and he ejaculates in her eye, causing a severe burning sensation, and a subsequent winking of one eye -- much like a Colonel's Monocle.
As I walked out of my room at 3:00 am to take a wiz, I noticed my roommate’s girlfriend standing at the sink, flushing her eye out. I asked, "Colonel Mustard?" And she replied, in a saddened a whimper, "mmmhmmmm."
by moose56 March 01, 2006

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An army term: To dip ones pork sword in your commanding officers antique mustard pot to gain revenge.
Neil was not happy with his team leaders 6 month evaluation of him and took it upon himself to Colonel mustard him.
by Jonah Blue October 29, 2007

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A dirty practical joke, where a squeeze mustard bottle is shoved into the victim's ass nozzle first and squeezed, ejecting the mustard into said victim's ass. Originated by the infamous John Gagain, coffee potter extraordinaire.
1. When Billy passed out naked after a night of drinking, his friends gave him a Colonel Mustard. Boy was he surprised!
by C-Side November 21, 2004

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

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when a male nuts on a girl and she takes her finger and wipes it across your upper lip, resembling a white mustache like COL Mustard from Clue.
Dude, i could have killed my girl she gave me a freakin Colonel Mustard!!
by Brant38 March 13, 2008

The Urban Dictionary Mug

Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Your favorite word on a white mug.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Smooth, soft, slim fit American Apparel shirt. Custom printed. 100% fine jersey cotton, except for heather grey (90% cotton).

Buy the t-shirt