Top Definition
A penis so monstrous that its very existence is doubted by some. Also called Nessie for short.
Jane said John had a Cock Ness Monster, but I didn't know if such a fantastic tale could be true.
by Sastwatch August 21, 2007

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When a penis is so large that it reaches the water in a toilet bowl.
Oh man, my cockness monster just went for a swim.
by Dt.Stabler May 31, 2010

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A penius so large it is said to be of the same length and gerth of the Lock Ness Monster's.
She thought she was cute so I showed her the Cockness Monster.
by The Amazing Larry January 12, 2011

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whenst a man gets an erection,
whilst in ye olde bathtub
"dude, you shouldve seen my cockness monster, it was slimy"
by takeittothemacks December 11, 2008

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the name given to the largest of the male sex organ.
Susie: I was with jayquan last night and his penis was huge
Mary: I'm sure it was, but I don't think anything compares to Matt's cocknessmonster
by Glocknessmonsta October 02, 2011

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A flat headed woman who gives head while you are drinking beer, taking a shit and watching football
The cockness monster attacked my dick while I was watching the Vikings beat the Packers, drinking a 40 of O.E., and shitting out the nachos I ate earlier
by Rick Allen's Arm March 24, 2009

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A large serpent bearing resemblance to a penis, often depicted swimming. Commonly drawn in school related materials by more "creative" male classmates. First recorded sighting in a homework planner in 2013.
Student 1: "What the hell is that in my book? Does it have a scrotum for a tail?"
Student 2: "It's just a drawing of the Cockness Monster."
by Dr. River Song January 16, 2015

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