*(note)-- a growing number of residents have been leaving town every weekend, especially males, because they prefer fun (girls, peace, and intelligence) over drunken male idiocracy with stuck up so-so females sprinkled in....
There are basically 3 groups of people here that stick together
1.Mexicans- best partiers, cheapest fighters (talk shit only when 8 people are willing to help them in an altercation.)
2.Hicks-most honor, kindest, most ignorant and least willing to accept outsiders
3.Haters-always talk shit cuz they have 8 people ready to jump in at any time if you say something back. secretly hated by everyone, yet tolerated. always ruins a good time. biggest downfall of cloverdale. biggest pussies and shit-talkers.
It has been reported in the Press democrat to have the 2nd worst unemployment in the county and the highest percentage rate of divorce, high school dropouts, 3rd in teen pregnancy, and also leads the county in lowest SAT scores, and leads by a large margin in court ordered rehab/jailtime due to alcohol related arrests in percentage rates.
One theory is that all who are intelligent or good looking have left over thae past 35 years, so only unintelligent, ignorant people keep breeding with eachother. The only people who are good-looking and arent stupid are new to the town (within 40 years), or are part of a family that has been here for 100 or more years.
FACT: the Cloverdale 2006 graduation rate was a lowly 66%
JOHN: No kiddin' boi, I LOVE CLOVERDALE
mane, if anyone comes her we don' rec-o-nize, les kick is ass!
NATE: GOOD IDEA Brother! Lets just talk shit to anyone we dont recognize! I LOVE being ignorant if more than PAPAS PIZZA!!
John: Yea, pussy is overrated anyways. Why fuck a girl When I can just be a dick all night and jack off when I get home? I could always chase them freshmeat, i mean freshmen.... O yea and FUCK HEALDSBURG!
NATE: YEA, AND ROSA, AND WILLITS UKIAH WINDSOR SAN FRAN. IF you dont live here your FAGS!!!! HAHAHA
AND FUCK GIRLS TOO! AND CHINESE PEOPLE HAHA
DAMN ZIPPA HEADS
JOHN: FUCK COLLEGE! IM SMARTA DEN ALL DEM DUMMIES!!!
AND MOST OF ALL, FUCK ALL YOU OPEN MINDED FAGS!!!!!!!!!
NOTE: I live in cloverdale, and I have several friends here as well. This is meant as a parody, so chill the fuck out if youre pissed, otherwise youre simply confirming what is written up above. All you that live here know its mostly true anyways so go- ahead ang get a giggle out of it and give the thumbs up on this shit...