1) A male who hides his homosexuality by advocating strong conservative views.
2) Someone overcompensating for their sexuality by hating gays a little too much.
3) A baseball player.
"I know it seems crazy because he's sooo against gay marriage, but I'm pretty sure he's a closet conservative"
A person who claims to be liberal yet says and believes in ideas pertaining to conservatism.
Jamie Hoe Spears: The war in Iraq is bad... and so is abortion. Therefore, at sixteen years of age, I will bear the fruit of my loins.
Normal person: You're white trash... and a closet conservative.
John: I'M THE MOST LIBERAL PERSON EVAR AND GDUBS IS STUPID BUT I FEEL THAT RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER WOULD BE THE BEST CHOICE FOR PRESIDENT IN THE 2008 ELECTION.
Normal person: ...exxxxaccttlyyy.