EVERYONE seems to have provided either a partially or entirely inaccurate definition of what a Cleveland Steamer actually is. This classic and creative move is indeed a way to ensure that any desired break-up with a particular girl is accomplished without chance of reconciliation! Okay, THIS is how to perfectly execute a Cleveland Steamer: First, get your soon-to-be-ex drunk to the point of passing out. This serves two purposes. One, it allows you to precisely carry out the defecation on her chest without protest. Two, it almost assures that, because she drank so damn much, she will be even MORE sickened by the stench when she wakes in the morn. But back to the instructions. After passing out, the victim (girl) must be carefully placed in her bed with the covers pulled back. At this time, strip off her top and lay the longest, smokiest and smelliest logs possible directly on, around and between her tits. One may prep for this by eating lots of green vegetables, collard greens in particular, then smoking a pack of menthol cigarettes and eating jalapeno poppers at the same time. After dropping your shit pudding on her chest, and this is very important, pull the covers (preferably including at least two wool blankets and a down comforter) up over her head. If need be, leave her nostrils uncovered so that she won't suffocate. Then, after "blanketing" the smoking poo on her chest with as many covers as are available, turn the thermostat in her room up as high as it will go. If you can run that heat upwards of 90-95 degrees, DO IT! After a night of her poo pot pie literally baking on her chest under the multi-layered covers AND with a room temp of around 90 degrees, she will indeed wake to the smell in this steamy sauna of shit that will make her WISH she was engulfed by the smell of something much more tolerable, like the stench of rotting possum carcasses in the desert heat. THIS, my friends, is the REAL Cleveland Steamer!!!
"I hated Candace's sorry ass so much that I thought I was actually gonna have to kill her to get rid of that nagging bitch once and for all. Fortunately, I cleverly decided to use the ole Cleveland Steamer ploy, which both got rid of her for good and kept me from going to prison! Cleveland Steamers rock, man!!!"
by Larry Tird August 03, 2009

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The act of taking a shit on a girl's chest while she is sucking your dick. See also: Hot Carlisle, Pasadena Mudslide, California Hot Plate
I gave her a cleveland steamer last night. It got a little bit messy.
by MadHat December 17, 2004

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The act of leaving a shit stain on the rib cage of a woman while receiving penile pleasure from friction between the mammaries.
"Tiffany broke up with me after I gave her a cleveland steamer."
by Long Island August 15, 2004

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cleveland steamer is when you shit on her chest, cincinnati steamer is when you put syran wrap on her face and shit on it
if you shit on her chest, its a cleve (cleaveage) shit on her face its a cinci
by craps onur April 25, 2004

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Similar to a Hot Carl, in that you make a deposit on your partner's torso, most often during fellatio (if the woman is receiving) or cunningulus (if the man is receiving). What distinguishes the "Steamer" from the Hot Carl is that following the deposit, you slide back and forth on the deposit to smear it into the partner.
Sheila and I both needed a shower after I gave her a Cleveland Steamer.
by Stubacca March 03, 2006

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A bowel movement generally taken on the chest/face.
Dude, I'm going to take a Cleveland steamer on your face.
by pfunkk May 08, 2008

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The Cleveland Steamer, contrary to popular belief, is not the act of defacating on your partner's chest before, during, or after sex. The true Cleveland steamer is the act of filling a large, deep bowl with feces and microwaving it untill it is steaming hot, and then having sex with it, usually resulting in extreme pain and sever burns.
Did you hear about John? He got rushed to the burn ward after trying a cleveland steamer.
by FatManJ August 22, 2006

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The act of defecating on your partner.
I recieved a cleveland steamer on my face two days ago, and I still have corn stuck in my teeth.
by Yat December 20, 2003

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