EVERYONE seems to have provided either a partially or entirely inaccurate definition of what a Cleveland Steamer actually is. This classic and creative move is indeed a way to ensure that any desired break-up with a particular girl is accomplished without chance of reconciliation! Okay, THIS is how to perfectly execute a Cleveland Steamer: First, get your soon-to-be-ex drunk to the point of passing out. This serves two purposes. One, it allows you to precisely carry out the defecation on her chest without protest. Two, it almost assures that, because she drank so damn much, she will be even MORE sickened by the stench when she wakes in the morn. But back to the instructions. After passing out, the victim (girl) must be carefully placed in her bed with the covers pulled back. At this time, strip off her top and lay the longest, smokiest and smelliest logs possible directly on, around and between her tits. One may prep for this by eating lots of green vegetables, collard greens in particular, then smoking a pack of menthol cigarettes and eating jalapeno poppers at the same time. After dropping your shit pudding on her chest, and this is very important, pull the covers (preferably including at least two wool blankets and a down comforter) up over her head. If need be, leave her nostrils uncovered so that she won't suffocate. Then, after "blanketing" the smoking poo on her chest with as many covers as are available, turn the thermostat in her room up as high as it will go. If you can run that heat upwards of 90-95 degrees, DO IT! After a night of her poo pot pie literally baking on her chest under the multi-layered covers AND with a room temp of around 90 degrees, she will indeed wake to the smell in this steamy sauna of shit that will make her WISH she was engulfed by the smell of something much more tolerable, like the stench of rotting possum carcasses in the desert heat. THIS, my friends, is the REAL Cleveland Steamer!!!
"I hated Candace's sorry ass so much that I thought I was actually gonna have to kill her to get rid of that nagging bitch once and for all. Fortunately, I cleverly decided to use the ole Cleveland Steamer ploy, which both got rid of her for good and kept me from going to prison! Cleveland Steamers rock, man!!!"
by Larry Tird August 03, 2009

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to take a shit on your partners chest after sex. its more of a fetish thing.
dude,this bitch gave me a Cleveland steamer last night.
man thats nasty.
by seth9480 April 20, 2009

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The art of one person excreting onto someones chest and then rocking backward and forth in a rocking horse motion thus smearing faeces all over the target area.
I met her in a bar, we went back to hers, and upon turning the light on i noticed she had plastic sheets, inquisitive at first i carried on. There was some foreplay and then she shat on my chest. She asked me afterwards if i enjoyed the cleveland steamer.
by James 'Cleveland' Purchase February 14, 2007

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the procedure of one sexual partner (man or woman) taking a shit on the chest area of the other partner (man or woman).
That cleveland steamer you gave me last night was extra hot, i can still feel the steam from under the sheets last night.
by Angela Lopez April 18, 2006

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the act of taking a doo-doo on your partners chest either during sex(usually titty fucking) or after he/she has fallen asleep. You then proceed to roll around and flatten the doo-doo pie out like a steamroller. Usually after this you want to run away.
i was afraid of breaking up with Jen face to face, so i gave her a cleveland steamroller after she fell asleep and ditched.
by Nick Nicholson April 20, 2005

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To "lay down" a "track" in the "valley" on your partner while making "choo choo" noises.
I gave her a cleveland steamer and laid down a good track
by fobes June 16, 2004

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An act performed by at least two people, which appeals to the prurient interest of one or all parties, in which one party defecates upon the chest of another.
Oy! Don't talk to her. That bird gives Cleveland steamers back in the shitter for half a crown, she does.
by Danny May 14, 2004

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(N)a.)The act of dropping stink nuggets on someones chest before during or after sex (can be used as a punishment, break up tactic or fetish act)
b.)a way of telling your kids that you hate them
My girl friend calls me the cleveland steamroller
by FIRSTCAVY January 19, 2004

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