Chuck Norris is a fictional man who is believed to be all powerful by a cult following he has on the internet. These Chuck Norris facts will define it way better than I can.
Every night before he goes to sleep, the boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once got angry and roundhouse kicked the ground in a spot. That spot is known as the Pacific ocean.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris once fought superman on a bet. The loser had to wear his pajamas on the outside of his clothes.
Aliens don't cause crop circles. That's Chuck Norris playing with his cereal.
Actually, Chuck Norris died 20 years ago. Death just hasn't had the courage to tell him yet.
Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double for crying scenes.
The manhattan project was an attempt to reproduce the power of Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. It failed.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs. Chuck Norris. The movie was cancelled shortly after it's production. No one would pay good money to see a movie 9 seconds long.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris doesn't read. He stares the books down until he gets the information he needs.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a guy so hard, his kick went back in time and killed Amelia Earhart as she was flying over the pacific ocean.
Don't mess with chuck norris, or, in other words, don't F**k with Chuck.
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One Kick Ass Son of a Bitch!more...
Some random facts about Chuck Norris:
"Alien vs Predator" is an autobiographical depiction of Chuck Norris' first sexual experience.
While Chuck Norris was on holiday in Spain, he ate some bad paella causing him to take the largest shit known to man. That shit is now France.
Instead of having a cigarette after sex, Chuck Norris heads outside and brands his cattle.
Chuck Norris doesn't break up with his girlfriends... He punches them in the vagina and they leave.
Chuck Norris had sex with a cigarette machine.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire watermelon, including the seeds, then grew an entire watermelon patch in his stomach which fed eleven families for six weeks.
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck killed that man.
If you were to know Chuck Norris' true name, your mind would collapse upon itself.
A freak accident involving Chuck Norris and a severe thunderstorm turned an ordinary Total Gym (R) into Richard Dean Anderson, star of TV series "MacGyver". Scholars around the world maintain that this is the only known case of irony that is both situational and dramatic.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris is unable to send his roundhouse kicks across the fabric of time, however he IS able to perform this action across parallel dimentions and once, just for fun, roundhouse kicked his own ass....
The manliest man on Earth:more...
Chuck Norris uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops.
Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.
"One time I was with Norris in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. Norris goes up to the deer and says, 'I'm Chuck Norris! SAY IT!' Then he manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'ChuckNorris' ... It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!'"
People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris...Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks people in the face first and asks questions later.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Archeologists in India recently uncovered a new dinosaur. It’s actually many dinosaurs but one is in the middle of all the others. The one in the middle is believed to have killed the others with a single roundhouse kick to the face. The archeologists wanted to call it ChuckNorrisaurs but the Indian government changed the name to Himotosaurous because it’s simply not possible for Mr. Norris to be killed.
Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.
Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.
Chuck Norris successfully seperated twins conjoined at the head by roundkicking them in the face.
Dinosaurs went extinct b...
v. to perform a totally cool and violent action, observable by peers
v. to judiciously kick a man, woman, child, or animal's ass
v. to maintain street credibility;
adj. for street cred
Did you see the way Stewart Chuck Norrised that fucking guy's neck? That's awesome.
Phil Chuck Norrised that cat because it gave him a look and walked across the hall.
Did you see the way Travis slapped that bitch? That's Chuck Norris.
America's premier ass kicking artist since the early 1960's.
Even at age 63 Chuck Norris can kick any guys ass in the US of A and most of the world and beyond!
The badest mofo of dem all. DONT F*%K WITH CHUCK!!!
When chuck norris jumps into a pool, he doesn't get wet, the pool gets chucked.
One day a man asked chuck norris if his real name was charles. Chuck norris did not respond, but rather stared at him until he exploded.
Chuck norris doesn't have AIDS but he gives them to people anyway.
If you can see chuck norris he can see you. If you can't see chuck norris, you may be only be seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris is the mightiest man alive. He will kill your family and eat your soul. His roundhouse kicks have been known to destroy worlds. All your base are belong to him.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
there is no definition for chuck norris
1: i tried to define chuck norris
2: what happened?
1: i got roundhouse kicked and was told no one defines chuck norris but chuck norris