Christopher Newport is just like UVA, only prettier. We're the school where the kids are smart and gorgeous, the facilities are amazing and our dorms are nicer than your house.
Even though were a "dry campus", kids come from all over Hampton Roads to party with us. Christopher Newport University is the Beverly Hills of Colleges.
Go to Port Warwick to party...but only if your Greek. And if you're not pretty, your basically a Geek.
I'm amazing, I go to Christopher Newport University, duh!
A college in the Hampton Roads area of Virginia known for being drier then the Sahara Desert. The students have the superiority complex of UVa kids and think everyone else is trashy, yet while they're playing World of Warcraft
and watching entire seasons of Family Guy on a Friday night, students at every other college are out getting laid. Go figure.
"I'm transferring to community college."
"Dude, you've only been at Christopher Newport University for a day!"
"And I already want to put a gun in my mouth"