Christian holiday moved to conflict with the time of year when everyone everywhere (and everywhen) celebrates the winter solstice (point of Earth's orbit where, in the northern temperate zones, the sun's zenith slows its southern decent and begins moving north again = another year to live).

2. Hodgepodge of ancient and not-so-ancient rituals, including sacrificing a tree to Mother Nature, celebrating the miracle that got Nicholas his sainthood (reassembling murdered and hacked up child parts in a barrel back into children), and, oh, the birth of Jesus, a jew, and the guy that made 12 of his buddies drink his blood and eat his flesh, before he got executed and came back from the dead. (Can you say "zombie"?)

3. Day that Santa brings new socks and undies. If your bad, you get coal (to keep from freezing) and an orange (for vitamin C to prevent scurvy).
Fucking Christmas. I wanna get drunk.
by danw December 22, 2003
A celebration that happens every December. The Bible mentions no scripture about celebrating this day, nor does it even show the true date of Jesus Christ's birth.

A great chance for every stock market and major department stores to make the cash.
There's no scripture in the Bible that tells people to celebrate Christmas day, nor does it even mention the real date Jesus was born in.
by import_killer March 07, 2006
(pl. Christmasses)
1. n. The holiday celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. Falling conveniently on the 25th of December, supposedly declared by the Catholic Church to eclipse a Pagan holiday (winter solstice) on the same day.

2. n. A heart touching season where gift giving is promoted, and Santa Claus is every youth's hero. Other Christmas icons include: reindeer, snowmen, elves, presents, pine trees, ornaments, tinsel, holy, yule logs, sleighs, mistletoe, carols, noel, angels, golden rings, calling birds, french hens, turtledoves, birds in fruit-bearing trees.

3. v. To celebrate Christmas
1. Character 1: "Hey, wanna come over to my house on Christmas and read the bible and celebrate the birth of our savior?"
Character 2: "Nah, I'm planning on celebrating the Pagan holiday for the Winter Solstice, which coincidentally falls on your holiday, and involves many of the same practices"
Character 1: "Screw you."

2. Character 1: "I can't wait til Christmas Time, when I can spend my hard-earned cash on presents that will probably be given away, only to get crappy woven sweaters in return!"
Character 2: "Don't be bitter, just give them your car keys and report it stolen the next day."

3. Character 1: "So what are you planning to do over the holidays?"
Character 2: "Oh, I'm going to be Christmassing with my peeps in G-Town, how bout you?"
Character 1: "Oh, what a relief, I thought you were Jewish."
by blankypoo November 15, 2004
A christian festival held on the 25th of december that most non christians use as an excuse to get presents.
presents around the christmas tree...
by mattyatty July 04, 2005
syn. to Yule/Yuletide, originally a pagan holiday incorporated into the Christian religion to ease the shock of converting the pagans. jesus was born around april 19th.
In order to convert the germanic huns, jesus was portrayed as a warrior, in order to convert the romans, he was displayed as a kind but fierce saint. in both instances holidays were absorbed into the christian religion so that the new converts would not have to rememorize holidays and festivals.
by earthern April 14, 2005
1. Annual commercial carnival which celebrates the birth of the Shopping Centre, usually lasting about 4 fucking months and starting earlier every year, Christmas 2005 is expected to start in August.

2. Festive period when everybody seems to go absolutely crazy, small children lose the ability to keeps their mouths shut and normally quiet individuals turn into shopping obsessed morons.

3. Time of the year in which we are supposed to rejoice in the goodness of life and forgive our fellows for their transgressions.
1. Girl - "It'll be Christmas again soon you know."

Guy - "Fuck off will you its only fucking August!"

2. Kid - "Daddy, daddy, daddy please buy me this for Christmas!"

Father - "Gibber, Gibber, dribble dribble "

3. Annoyingly happy bastard - "Merry Christmas!"

Normal person - "Piss off, fucktard!"
by Lykan December 07, 2004
1. The 25th day of December.
2. In America, the only religious holiday that's also a federal holiday.
That way, Christians can go to their Christmas services, while everyone else can reflect on the true meaning of separation of church and state.
by bigtones September 06, 2006
(n.) A magical time of year where Jesus Christ rises from the grave to feast on the flesh of the living, so we all sing Christmas carols to lull him back to sleep.
Johnny celebrates Christmas with his family by singing Christmas carols to ward off Zombie Jesus.
by Jerrodimus Prime December 16, 2004
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