Quite possibly the longest day in the Gregorian calendar.
Christmas Eve; 'twas treacherous last year. Felt like an eternity.
- An excerpt from William Shakespear's diary.
The Black Friday for procrastinators.
What's today? Christmas Eve!? Time to start shopping.
Christmas Eve each year a fat man dressed in red (possibly to hide the blood) rides around on a "magical flying sleigh" led by drunk reindeers with names like Prancer (Yes:teh ghey
),breaks into your home,steals your cookies and leaves crappy gifts that last till Boxing Day.
This criminal is thought to be armed and dangerous and has many doubles around the world that molest children that sit on their laps in malls.
He also has an army of evil munchkins who make crappy toys and kick people in their shins. They have also be known to partake in orgies.
If you approach him,he'll most likely yell "ho,ho,ho!" and shoot you with his laser gun.
Be afraid children,be very afraid.
Despite his name being chillingly close to Satan
,Santa claims he is commiting all these henious on Christmas Eve crimes in the name of Jesus
So we must conclude that not only is Santa evil,but so is Jesus. Amen.