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9.
bland, generic lyrics aimed to brainwash youth partnered with equally bland tunes and instrumentals. it is successful only because the record executives and right wing christian leaders saw that they had enough bible-humping teenagers to make a fat profit off of.
NO ONE, and i mean NO ONE with good music taste, regardless of their religious persuasion, will be caught dead listening to christian rock, or christian music of any kind for that matter.
because, you just cant make "oh jesus, my lord and saviour, my one and only, thank you" into a good song.
it just wont happen.
cool kid: whatre you listening to?

lame wannabe christian kid: its Thank you Lord, the latest CD from God Rules, this amazing christian rock band. its really good, theyre so talented.

cool kid: go fuck yourself.

lame wannabe christian kid: its because i'm a christian, isnt it?!?

cool kid: no, its because youre an idiot. bye.
by Hannahhh January 11, 2006
 
2.
another attempt by greedy men in suits to cash in on something. Basically "Christian Rock" is just another product that is pushed to be sold by men in suits sitting behind desks who are saying, "You stupid Christian youth, this is your music". Another product to be sold, conning you out of your money. Most Christian Rock has rock trappings but the melodies and song structures are lame, derivative and not very original or exciting. The lyrics are usually preachy, pompous, overbearing and propagandistic. True songwriters write from the heart, not according to some format or formula. If you want to hear entertaining rock'n'roll that covers themes that Christians can relate to, there is plenty of it. U2 is an excellent example, they ROCK. Also, Pink Floyd, Genesis, the Ramones, the Beatles, Rush, Peter Gabriel and many other big name acts cover mature topics, yes, even with religious references and inspiration. Jesus can be found in everything, if you look hard enough.
Christian rock ain't nothing but propaganda for right wing fundies who care about the "message" more the music. It ain't really too different, in that aspect, from so-called Nazi rock. It's just propaganda, a product. Most of it is really just lame "adult" pop anyway. "You Light Up My Life" is one of the most goopy and hideous pieces of trash to ever hit the charts and airwaves. "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" is a great slab of "Jesus rock" because it comes from the HEART, like rock'n'roll is supposed to do in the first place.
by Buckeye Starrider May 21, 2007
 
3.
Something you have ready to scare off a bad blind date.
If you play it, they will run.
by yaoigirlproxy January 26, 2005
 
4.
Ironically one of the most soulless genres of music ever.
Person 1: Hey, you should listen to the new CD I just bought.
Person 2: Really? I'm hoping it will be original. What are the songs about? Are they about real-world issues and humanity's relationship with one another or something creative in that manner?
Person 1: No, they're about Jesus. 54 minutes and 17 seconds of JESUS. It's Christian rock.
Person 2: ...
by The Bad Guy February 03, 2007
 
5.
1. An oxymoron.
2. A genre of music created by teens who wanted to play rock n' roll and still be considered good kids. Urged on by churches, parents, and the man, this genre has grown in recent years. The title, Christian Rock is false for the fact that rock is made up of drugs, sex, and rock n' roll, while the actual music contains little or none of these. Christian Rock tends to contained watered down and weak instrumentals, centering around lyrics. Comparable to soft rock. With few exceptions, such as Switchfoot and POD, Christian Rock has been and always will be a weak, lame stepchild of Rock. This is a shame because Christian music could be great, and yet it is crap. For any people who love true rock such as myself, and have good taste in music will not even listen to this weak crap. Being Christian doesn't mean you have to listen to that worthless shit.
Bob:Hi! Do you like Christian Rock!
Dave:No I listen to good bands like Led Zeppelin and AC/DC.
Bob: Thousand Foot Crutch is the best!
Dave: Eat me.
by SeanMurface April 10, 2006
 
6.
A genre made up for crap bands like Underoath, Project 86, and Kutless. Despite popular belief, their lyrics have absolutely nothing to do with God. The bands may have one song that makes a brief reference to Jesus but that is all. This is just an excuse to sell their horrible, uninspired music to dumbassed youth group skaters for $18.95 an album at a Christian book store.
Hey, man! I was skating to Underoath yesterday! Their music makes me love Jesus so much! I love christian rock!
by Asshat Hatass May 04, 2007
 
7.
Rock music, with lyrics about christianity, Jesus, and God.
It's taking all my willpower to make an unbiased definition about Christian Rock, one of the concepts I hate. No offense, I just don't believe in most of any abrahamic religion or ones dealing with the supernatural. I'm pretty sure the above definition is accurate though.
by you shall never get ma name! December 21, 2005