A Christian is a person who believes that praying to the two thousand year old corpse of a man supposedly named 'Jesus' will solve all of the world problems.

They are mostly white conservative republicans, usually with a low education, that wish to force everyone into their cult of what can only be described as necrophilia.

The common Christian is an extremely brainwashed and mentally unstable pile of flesh and bone, they lack common logic, and cannot form a coherent thought, they should be approached with extreme caution, communication should be avoided at all costs, and physical interaction of any kind may be fatal.
random normal person: Hi Jeff. :D
Christian: REPENT!!!!
random normal person: *calls 911*
by Shader95 November 03, 2010
a culture that thinks that they are ultimately right and think that their religion is the best because of all the dominant white people. they try to make everyoe believe in their religion and they think that everyone should follow thier dumb rules, which they themselves go against.
i am christian and if you dont believe my religion you are going to hell
by shaneeks June 26, 2010
one who has to believe in another man because they dont believe in themselves, a follower, a leader can think for themselves in making right judgement calls, they spread love through violence and kill those who oppose their ideas (just ask the native americans)
I am a christian so when I kill I am forgiven or have a problem I cant figure it out on my own so I will pray and receive an answer.
by Thee POD February 18, 2010
1. a number of well-intentioned people who believe in peace, a single omnibenevolent, omnipotent, and omniscient God, and humanity's potential. Such people are often met with derision from non-Christians, who hypocritically associate this form of Christian with definition 2 Christians.

2. a group of people noted for their bigotry, close-mindedness, and hypocrisy. Often noted for using their religion, recent atrocities inflicted by psychopaths, and other tangential references to justify whatever social, political, or economic agenda they favor, e.g. anti-homosexual and anti-video game. Most pretend to be of the other variety of Christian, though empirical data has shown that even the few that do actually believe in the tenants of the religion of Christianity rarely follow them, for whatever reason. Maybe they're jealous of the people they persecute (no, we won't give you a pre-release copy of Halo 4).
1. Mother Theresa's charity work should be a radiant beacon to which Christians and the rest of humanity should aspire.

2. Christian (possibly ex-) attorney Jack Thompson seeks the removal of violent video games from the market by insisting that any and all atrocities that have ever happened or will ever happen are the direct result of people playing too many violent video games. Also, he's stalking me...What? It's true, I swear!
by Galbrept, the Incompetent March 18, 2008
Someone who beleives in the divinity of Jesus Christ and enjoys trying to force this beleif on others. If you belong to any other religion, they attempt to convert you with intimidation and insults.
Christian: Hey, want to come to church?

Athiest, Muslim, Jew, Hindu, Buddhist, Taoist, etc.: No, I'm sorry, I'm not christian

Christian: HEATHEN! DEVIL-SPAWN! DEMON! HERETIC! YOU WILL BURN IN THE FIRES OF HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY! YOU MUST CONVERT! ATONE FOR YOUR SINS OF IGNORANCE! IF YOU DO NOT FOLLOW THE TEACHINGS OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST YOU WILL NOT HAVE ETERNAL SALVATION AND YOU ARE EVVVILLLLLLL!!!!!!

Non-Christian: .................. uhhhh.......*too stunned, frightened, and offended by the raving lunatic in front of them to speak*
by cdsortapes October 14, 2007
Stupid goody-two-shoe fuckheads who love to suck up to the government. They think that everything in life is useless and the only thing worth giving attention to is there invisible deity called "god", whom of which they have yet to prove the existance of. They also foolishly believe that the United States was founded as a christian nation, when in fact it was founded upon Agnosticism, yet the Christians stole it from the Agnostics.
I hate christians, They are the worst kind of religious people. They are fucking obnoxious assholes. A christian that lives next door to me snitched me out to the police for smoking the green a couple years back. Hey, guess what. I can do whatever the fuck I WANT, you fucking fascists. I don't care if this is your nation. I am me. So don't you tell ME how to live. I hate you stupid fucking christians. Just fuck off the Earth already and drop dead. Assholes...
by FUCK YOU!! May 19, 2007
70% Self-Rightious
55% Facist
75% Idiotic
100% Arrogant
90% Sinners
85% Liars
100% Annoying
90% Hypocrtical
00.01% Nice, true beleivers, and followers of Christ's teachings.

100% Asshole.
(Witness asshole)Why hello there! I am going door to door, harassing other people with my idiotic beleifs, trying to convert you from what YOU think is right!, because Christianity is the only TRUE religioun!!!"

(Unbrainwashed Citizen)Why dont you piss off, and leave people alone, Arn't you guys rich enough, and what do you people need so many donations for, Just go ask god for some money! :-D, btw, You guys self-contradict 90% of what you consider sins, so, FUCK OFF :-> (Slams door)

(Later that day, the Jahova's Witness guy comes home, and after realizing nobody loves him, and his insane cult is dying out, because most of his fellow cultists are insane/murderers/hyopcrites, He took out a shot of Whisky, And decided to take his own life, with his 12. gauge break-down shotgun, he loaded a Slug Shell into the chamber, Put the gun into his mouth, so that the barrel pressed against the back of his throat, pulled the hammer back, and pulled the trigger, His brains were splattered all across his wall, His next door neighbor called 911, shortly after hearing the tremendous noise the shotgun caused, The police arrived shortly after, and began to investigate the scene, Nobody cared.

Also, Suicide is considered a sin in Christianity, so he went to hell, haha, stupid christians.
by William Batley July 11, 2006

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