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2.
A formed chocolate bar in the shape of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
I gave that self rightious preachy fat bitch a chocolate Jesus for Christmas. She loved it and then ate Christ's head.
by x96merrill3@hotmail.com December 24, 2004
 
1.
President Obama]. Makes reference to his skin color (black, or "chocolate"), and his status with his followers and the main stream media as an almost messiah-like figure, dispite evidence that he is, in fact, merely another politician.
"Enough about Obama, you'd think this guy is some kind of chocolate jesus the way people hype him."
by fatmandive January 27, 2009
 
3.
Other than the name of the Tom Waits song a chocolate Jesus is the sexual act of shitting in someones mouth and they die of e. coli poisoning and you hope they come back three days later.
I tried the Chocolate Jesus on Carol the other day and I went to the tomb and the stone was still there. I guess she isn't a Choclate Jesus.
by Captain Donald October 31, 2010
 
4.
Similar to the filthy Sanchez but with one major difference. After you've engaged in anal sex you don't just draw the mustache, you give them the full beard.
I gave your sister the chocolate Jesus last night.

Really, how'd she take it?

I don't remember cause after i left i got struck by lightning.
by DjinnNTawnik June 03, 2007