| 1. | Choch Daddy | ||
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HERE ARE SOME VITAL SIGNS TO KNOW IF YOU ARE OR KNOW ANY OTHER CHOCH DADIES........
-You put on way to much axe or any other kind of body spray when you get out the shower -You own more than one hollister shirt -you own a seashell or crableg necklace - you own high-top sneakers and wear them too school -you wear tight jeans to school -you go too the tanning salon every other day(and you are a guy) -you have frosted tips -you use gel to spike up your hair -your favorite bands are 3 doors down and nickleback -you own abercrombie and fitch sandals or flip flops -the only polo shirts you own are abercrombie, american eagle, and hollister -you wear pink shirts to school because you think they are cool -you wear cargo shorts that look like they have bricks in the pockets -every shirt you own smells like american eagle outfitters -you actually enjoy going to the mall to shop at aeropostale -you think sideburns are neat -your swimsuit and cargo shorts go down to your shins -you wear abercrombie hats -you own plaid shorts -you wear 10$ panama jack sunglasses from a local cvs -you actually gel your hair up so you can have bangs -you own and wear a wrist bracelet that is from american eagle -you always wear an undershirt under your polo even its 100 degrees outside, you never free ball that shit -you go golfing in your cargo shorts -you wear camoflauge cargo sharts -you think peach fuzz facial hair is sharp looking -you spray cologne on EVERY SQUARE INCH of your body -you play every sport in cargo shorts -hollister is where you spend most of your day -your favorite movies are chik-flics -You actually watch newly weds by yourself on mtv -You always sit down on the couch to watch Laguna Beach with your choch moma sister(CHOCH MOMAS ARE A DIFFERENT STORY)just kidding they dont exist wait they might -You watch biographies about dead actors and actresses -every polo shirt you own is either pink or brown with white stripes going through it -you are the cockiest person in the world -your favorite resteraunt is applebees(and you go there for the atmesphere) -you wear ankle bracelets -you look at yourself in the mirror every day for atleast 3 hours -you have an expired condom in your wallet -You wear Crocs -You shave every hair on your body(and your not a swimmer) -you put on so much deoderent the you can see the gel sliding down your legs -your best friends are girls -you start to hang out with them so much you talk like them,smell like them,act like them,think like them,and look like them -you wear shirts that say reeses puffs and lucky charms on them -you are a size large but you wear a size small t-shirt -your favorite drink is a cosmopolitin -you go on cruises with you and three hot girls but you dont get laid -you like 50 cent -your 26 and your a virgin -you think your the shit at basketball -most songs on your ipod are aerosmith -you tuck in the front part of your t-shirt to reveal your abercrombie belt -your life's passion is to be a model -you use the abecrombie shopping bags as decoration for your room and cut out the people on the bags to make as posters to make your room look abercrobiesh -you wear big ass belt buckles -you bring your lunch to school so you can drink your fancy water -you use adidas body spray on your armpits instead of deoderent -you have atleast 6 huge holes in your jeans but there not on your thighs cause youd get in trouble at school -you talk shit to people who are not choch dadies but inside you are a flaming vag - you think panama city is beautiful -you get manicures/pedicures weekly -you wear "BOD" brand body spray. because the guys on the commercial look like Abercrombie models -you use the word "fave" when describing your favorite channel, E! news -you are a metrosexual...in every sense of the word -you suck on lolipops 24/7 -you like to hang out at starbucks coffee shops -you like myspace a little to much -you always chew trident gum so that when a girl walks by she might get a whiff of the smell and might start talking to you -this list is getting your choch dady panties (from abercrombie) in a wad -you pretend your a surfer, yet you have never even seen a beach -you have a surf board that you have never and will never use -you have a $200 skim board with little black grips -you wear sunglasses (the big ass girl kind) at night -you wear your shirts SO tight that it could strangle a snake if placed upon one -you wear undershirts under everything...even some undershirts -you hide in the dark corner of a party so some chick will feel bad for you and come chat with you -you wear earrings or studs in your ears -your stereo system in your car is more expensive than your car itself -you usually turn out to be homosexual -you buy dip and dots at the mall -you go into abercrombie and fitch and like to chat with the employees there(the male ones) -you want to be a surfer and you dress like one, except you live in the mid-west -you talk extremely loud even when the person is a foot away from you -if you think this list is discriminating against a group of people then hell, your a damn choch dady yourself -you work out every day of your life so you can get the most popular men in school(and you are a man) -you think you are gods gift to women -you ask for the season of Laguna Beach on DVD -you brush your teeth in the bathroom of the school because you just ate lunch -you have a lip ring -you make fun of mentally disabled kids you sick bastard -you think you r better than everybody else -when you where your polos you dont button any of the buttons and then pop your collar -you go to beuaty salons on the weekends -you have the desire to have sex with animals -your favorite desert is key-lime pie -you do the cooking for your boyfriend(and yes once again you are a guy) -you love eating rocky road icecream with extra marshmellows -you always carry hair gel in your book-bag just in case you have a bad hair day -you wear sleeveless shirts to play tennis and golf in -you shave your legs but you tell every body you have not hit puberty yet,but you are also 18 years old -you have pubic hair on your chest -you shave your happy trail but then keep it in a treasure box -you spray your k-swiss high-tops with TAG -you take flowery shits -you wear baggy/tight cargo shorts that squeez your thighs -you do the shopping for your boyfriend -you love baking cookies -every hair on you leg points in one direction -you wear makeup to cover up your acne -You have ever been on an MTV reality show i.e. The Real World A guy at my new school made fun of my polo shorts but he is a choch daddy, so he's a stupid bastard with capris.
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