The Chino Wanker has been a common species amongst the UK youth since around 2010. They are aged between early-to-mid teens and early 20s, and are especially common on University campuses.
Usually, a Chino Wanker...
- Wears Chinos, Vans and vintage tees, as well as Jack Wills, Hollister and Abercrombie
- Thinks any mainstream autotuned music, such as Nicki Minaj, Rihanna and Chris Brown is the be-all, end-all of music
- Frequents the shittest, soulless clubs that play nothing but pop crap
- Describes anything that occurs which is slightly humorous as "banter". It doesn't even need to fit the actual proper definition of banter
- Describes person who does slightly humorous things as "a LAD"
- Thinks they are the epitome of macho, despite dressing like a member of One Direction
- Idolises Joey Essex and Mario "LADotelli"
- Posts really shit anecdotes about how wacky and laddish they are on sites like UniLAD.
- Objectifies the female gender. The only references they'll ever make to women is talking about which "wench" they "smashed" or really shit unfunny jokes about kitchens and sandwiches
- Watches comedy programmes with basic humour like Inbetweeners and Big Bang Theory
- Occasionally some Chino Wankers are edgy and prefer leftfield Indie like The Vaccines and Ed Sheeran.
If you are reading this definition and all these sound like they describe you to a tee, then congratulations! You are a Chino Wanker!
Chino Wanker dictionary:
Banter - Something funny which has occured.
LAD - Person who does or says something humorous
Lash - Participating in the consumption of alcoholic beverages
Swag - The favourable image one has when they wear Hollister
Totes - Most definitely
Onnittttttt - The decision to attend a social gathering, with consumption of alcoholic beverages
Wench - A member of the female sex.
Hanginggggg - The undesired feelings and sensations after the previous evenings festivities.
Emosh - To be in touch with one's emotions.
Hilar - Something which amuses the Chino Wanker.
Smash It - To engage in an activity with a positive, sometimes incredible, outcome
YOLO - A philosophical outlook on the decision to do something which is unpredictable.
If you use any of these terms, then I am afraid to say that you are an irritating cunt.
A vile human being who originally was a huge chav maybe a week ago, but then suddenly purchases a pair of chinos and possibly an optional hollister shirt which replaces the traditional adidas tracksuit, and then suddenly presumes they are an "indie kid": they're not mainstream in the slightest, and "totally unique" from everybody else. Although seeing as most chavs are adopting the chino wanker style, it is becoming pretty mainstream.
Chino wankers are commonly more annoying than actual chavs themselves; they are louder, cockier, walk even more like a dickhead, pretend to be drunk as an excuse to act even more like a twat, shout at everyone who isn't also a chino wanker like them, and are just a general threat to rest of the human population.
''Mad Dez'': "Alright der mikey lad, lovin dem chino's got pair from topman the other day like, der well comfy arent de!"
Mikey: "yeah, yeah, proper nice yano feel like a new person yano,"
*The group see a person who is wearing a bandshirt that is fairly mainstream and isn't beige*
"mad dez": "EY YOU FUCKIN GIMP AHAHAHAH LOOK AT YOU YOU FUCKIN MOSHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
Socially acceptable person: "Fuck off you chino wanker, go and crawl back to your chav slum"
"Mad Dez": "Wa"