Top Definition
Tension has been building since your entrance of the doctor's office. You flinch as you ever so gently sit down on the parchment paper lined examination bed. You start having flash backs; a urologist and his handful of students fondling your sugarlumps in turn. Erection during an STD swab. Terrible fellatio. You could hear him/hopefully her walk ever closer to your soon-to-be victimized anal cavity. You surpass the inevitable paperwork foreplay--and amidst the unspoken and insurmountable hostility, your doctor completely submerges his/hopefully her finger into your butthole. That is your queue. You squeeze tighter than you ever have before. Tighter than the time you watched Edward Norton get sodomized in American History X. You don't cease the sphincter constrictor until the medical examiner has agreed to write you off as never needing another colonoscopy.

If your doctor fails to comply with the set terms, it may be appropriate to pull out the big guns. You tell the medic that there is a tape recorder set in the cabinet on the other side of the room; however, you both must trek over to the cabinet, as one, in fear of him/her losing a finger. Inside the doctor will find a recorder with a short synopsis of their medical career, and how much he has done with that index finger. Just when it starts to sound optimistic, it digresses to how he could potentially lose it. All of which is presented with the mood set by another tape recorder looping the Saw theme.
I wanted to be a doctor when I was little. Then I heard about the Chinese Butthole Trap.
by Jenkemberry Fields Forever June 10, 2010

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