(N.) The Long, Flabby Arm of the law, who's last case he got to the bottom of was a case of mallowmars. Weighs nearly 300 lbs. and likes to spend his time on duty at Lard Lad Donut Shop and KrustyBurger.
"Ah, naw see hear. You're under arrest see, for grand larceny, see. Also for, DOA. Or was it DUI?"