1.) The polar opposite of Hell. During the months of Mid-December to Mid-May, it is a cozy -3*F everyday. It's a high of 20 and a low of Antarctica with a chance of rain that'll surely have you sliding in the icy abyss of Lake Michigan. Honestly, this should be a tax deductible for the residents they choice to stay more than five damn hours here. When night time starts at 4 pm and morning ends at 11 pm.
2.) The worst time to be getting lost downtown
3.) The passive death penalty
4.) The reason why no one wants to live in Chicago past October.
5.) The reason tourism halts to an icy stop
Texas Guy: GODDAMN IT's COLD!
Chicago Guy: But it's like 60 degrees.
Texas Guy: Oh like YOU felt worse. What's the temperature up there?
Chicago Guy: It actually got up to a high of 6 today! My mom was telling me how nice it was since yesterday, she said she was able to pry her car door open from the ice encasing it.
Texas: .....Chicago Winter....