Chavette - oi goffik ya sweaty twat ma bruvva's gonna kick ya head in ya get me.
Chavette - oi oi don't ya dis ma bruvva ya mosha scum, Ya mumma stinks
Goth - your broher is not here lol, but my mates are... (10 goths walk over towards chavette)
Chavette - please don't hurt me yo, respect ma and i'll respect ya
Goth - goths creep closer
Chavette - (begins to cry), I want ma mumma yo, and runs off.
British Version for Prep
How they act:
bitchy, slutty, mean, judgmental, tight nit (only friends with other chavettes), picks on others they deem unworthy of being polite to merely for their own amusement, think they are all that and that they can beat you up, bubble heads, not to much going on upstairs (stupid), smokes and drinks, not creative, sheep (fallows the queen chavette), fallows trends of all kinds, no regard for how others feel, and rude.
What they look like (how to spot one):
Blonde, pink and white every where, sports wear or anything from the GAP, track suits for every day wear, wears only the best clothes or knock-offs of the best clothes, Low cut shirts and high cut shorts and skirts, huge hoop earrings (we are talking huge! So big that they touch the shoulders), lots and lots of jewelry (mostly gold looking), gold chain necklaces, cake face make up in pastel colors with lots of gloss and glam, Visors and base ball caps (usually white or pink), foot wear is either trainer white sneakers, flip-flops/sandals (in pink), or high heels (even on a casual day). Large sunglasses (covers entire upper face), face lift and plastic surgery (when in their teens) pushing a stroller, and lastly; she’s waving her middle finger at you.
Most of the above isn’t just one thing, it’s mostly a combo of one or more things, just because you see some one with huge sunglasses in a track suit doesn’t mean they are a chavette. Though if they also have blonde, hair huge hoop earrings and their CD player is blasting R & B, the chances are fairly big that you’re in the presence of chavette royalty.
What they listen to:
R & B, Rap, pop, hip hop, 50 cent, Dance music, Timothy Westwood. This music has quite misogynistic lyrics and is therefore is not usually liked by the female chavsters. Chavettes usually listen to whatever Diva happens to be in the top10 at the present time.
How they talk:
”chhhh u cheeeky bassterd, garantted u is a chain wearin, goff bashin, roll up
blitzer from new east basingstoke and u aint got sh!t to do apart from
reakon ur all dat wiv ur bad boi slip knott hoody and ur nose piercing, if
me and da girrlz saw u down south london town we would see fit to smack u up
and leave u lyin der in ur rude boi leather jacket and ur nutta 10ft chains
along wid ur hench drum rollup.”
Notice the poor spelling of a 5 year old, bad grammar lack of punctuation, it is all just one continuous sentence, and not to mention the fact you can’t understand any of it.
Translation: “Hey you cheeky bastard, guarantied that you wear chains, insult Goths, have a bad car and are from New East Basingstoke. You do not have anything to do apart from smelling bad with your bad-boy slip knot hoody and your nose piercing. If me and my friends saw you in south London we would see it fit to beat you up and leave you lying there in your rude leather jacket and your crazy 10ft chains along with your bad car.”
Even after translation some of the sentence structure still doesn’t make sense.
Average Joe: Come again?
Usually has a fag in one hand and a pram in the other. Like the male version, it likes burberry(fake) and McDonalds(not inside, obviously).
A chavette will think itself as the most fasionable person around. The leader in a group of chavettes will probably be told this by her many followers. She may even have a nickname such as "Missy".
You can tell if someone is a chav a mile off. You will pribably be blinded by the bright orange glow of their hair or their fake gold jewellry from argos.
The Chavette will no doubt have her ears pierced as many times as humanly possible and her lobes crammed to capacity with large hoop earrings. Around her neck will at least 6 or 7 gold chains of different lengths with a large clown studded with semi precious hanging on the longest one reaching down to her naval.
Diet for herself and her children consists of sausage rolls, Greggs pasties, cigarettes, coke and cheep cider.
Her Children will by the time of their forth birthday will fully versed in every expletive and curse known in the English language and will indeed be asked to recite some colourful quips to the delight of its mothers peers i.e. pusher, pimp, fellow drug user.
The chavette will be a grandmother by the time she is in her mid twenties and the wonderful Chav life cycle will start all over again.
All chavettes, regardless of weight, will be wearing their clothes at least 2 sizes too small. They will wear their tracksuit bottoms and low slung jeans in such a way that their huge gut/pregnant bump is exposed and when they bend over, their thong.
The chavette will be pregnant with her first child before she reaches 5th year; the father may or may not hang around. Some chavettes can have around 5 kids with different fathers. They will still believe that having sex while standing up will ensure that they don't get pregnant and will insist on keeping the hapless baby to ensure that they get a council house. The chavette will also be seen slapping her kids around the head and swearing at them in public.