| 280. | Chav | ||
|
Low lifes, Unwanted by the public, Violent, and basically hated by everyone, even their own so called friends dont like them, they just hang out with them just to be popular.
The girls are always dressed in the long cheap shirt that says "Im your Bitch" or something like that, they wear their hair really tight up or they will have the small layered pony tail almost at the top of their head with a fringe that is totally identical to all their "mates", usually with unatural looking blonde streaks. The wear cheap looking make up, and rediculously large hooped ear rings, they will ware their tight skinney jeans (wich all the emo's and scene kids had way before them) they wear silver and gold dolly shoes or they would wear tracksuits and nike trainers. Most the girls are pregnant before they are 15 or have atleast had sex at 12 years old. The boys dye their hair blonde or blonde streaks and ususally spike it up or wear a baseball hat. they either wear football kit or tracksuits and always wear nike trainers. they usually smoke from the age of 10, and have one ear pierced with a huge rock in it. They use words like "innit" and "mush" or "Bruv" and they like to be idiots on the street by harrasing old ladies or picking fights with people older than them. they also pretend they are funny when they start pretending to flirt with other girls, usually like emo's or goth's, then they pretend to ask them out and when they are turned down they start to insult the girls and really embarras them. Chavs are just awfull people, if you can call them people that is. they also hang outside fast food places like McDonalds, Burger King and the hang around in childrens parks, they are basically everywhere causing trouble. Chavs ususally have come from bad backgrounds and abusive famillies, which is why most chavs are violent and have left home at a young age. |
|||
| Chav images | |||
| 1. | chav | ||
|
Picture this a young lad about 12 years of age and 4 ½ feet high baseball cap at ninety degrees in a imitation addidas tracksuit, with trouser legs tucked into his socks (of course, is definitely the height of fashion). This lad is strutting around, fag in one hand jewellery al over the over, outside McDonalds acting as if he is 8 foot tall and built like a rugby player, when some poor unsuspecting adult (about 17/18) walks round the corner wanting to go to mcdonalds for his dinner glances at the young lad, the young lad jumps up in complete disgust and says “Whats your problem? Wanna make sommin of it? Bling Bling” when the adult starts to walk towards the young lad, the young lad pisses himself and runs off to either his pregnant 14-year-old girlfriend or his brother in the army crying his eyes out. My mate has become a chav what can i do? answer is shoot him before it is too late
|
|||
| 2. | chav | ||
|
Derived from Chatham in Kent, this term can be applied loosely to every culture with a nasty, thieving element. There are many variants of this creature but all are subject to the following commonalities:
more...
Chavs are completely Amoral, having never been subjected to right and wrong by their inattentive, uncaring and often absent parents. Chavs are part Magpie, evidentially supported by their love of all things shiny, or as vaccuous, illiterate street-slang would say 'Bling'. They can be seen twokking from the Jewelry counter in Argos/Index. Whatever their ethnic background, Chavs have a built-in affinity to hip-hop/R&B, even if they are inherently racist (see the Scottish). They see their life as glamorous and cool. Chavs are for the most part, extremely stupid. However, some of them render a form of low cunning, which can be misinterpreted as intelligence. However this is false. A Chav has no desire to better themself through honest means nor learn anything outside of car modification. All chavs think that they are nails. Again, this is false. Sitting in a beaten up nova smoking lamberts does not precipitate a healthy body. The irony being that a Chav owns mainly sportswear, yet will ... |
|||
|
|
|||
| 3. | Chav | ||
|
Chav - Sub species of human
Commonly thought to be of inferior intellect, the Chavette surprises us with its cunning plan to avoid taking up a professional career and provide itself with free accommodation supplied by tax payers by spawning multi coloured mini chavs at a early stage in life, usually mid teens. Clearly recognisable by their distinctive tribal Burberry they congregate in town centres and on street corners, Chavs have a reputation of being creative with public property and motor vehicles, building themselves Chaviots out of mechcano sets and strip lighting, and providing us with humorous banta written on toilet walls like ‘Shit’ and ‘Tasha woz ere’ in an attempt to relieve our boredom while urinating. Their language is a basic form of English thus avoiding any words they cannot spell or pronounce, even to the extent of creating new words only they know the meaning of. Hunting in large groups Chavs will single out the weakest, smallest prey and attack it without mercy avoiding any personal injury and insuring victory. Chavs unfortunately don't yet fall into the category of rodent and in effect cannot be bludgeoned to death under the guise of pest control. Darn!- I think I speak for everyone when I say thank you Chavs for the great contribution you’ve made to this country, you’ve made it what it what it is today – a shit hole. also see: Burdon on society.
|
|||
| 4. | Chav | ||
|
Chav can be a noun, verb or an adjective. As in “you shitty scum chav”, or “Hey I like the way you have chavved up ya car/wardrobe/lifestyle/language” etc.
more...
The origins of the word itself are unclear and there are a few theories, perhaps all of them correct. Nonetheless, the current criteria for being a chav applies as laid out in this dictionary and no doubt, as culture dumbs-down even more, the definition will need to be updated. Chavs will no doubt eventually, despite their in-bred lack of intelligence, cotton-on to the fact that burberry and it’s current associations foster great hatred and negativity amongst the majority of the population. This factor however, could backfire, as Chavs could consider the perpetuation of hatred and negativity as a great contribution to humanity, even if it is directed towards themselves from others. The most recent example of a celebrity Chav is Kenzie in Big Brother. (I can’t remember the name of the boy-band he is in – so uncool – but I know it had the word “Crew” or “Squad” whatever, in the name). In fact, Kenzie actually said “no” initially to being in the BB house, but when he thought long and hard about it, decided to say yes as the word “brother” as in, “bruv-va” or “bruv” for short, sounded cool and he thought it would really do wonders for his street-cred. Kenzie is actually white, but to see his clothes and hear him speak, you would think he is black. Chavism represents a cultural link with the Trailer Park Tra... |
|||
| 5. | chav | ||
|
Oh the simple Chav, what a constant source of amusement you are!
Chavs are the dregs of human existence. They live merely to piss everyone else off with their love of crap clothing and manky gold jewellery. They have taken the wearing of tracksuits and baseball caps to a new level of pikieness. Chav girls (or chavettes) commonly sport the Croydon Facelift (hair pulled back in a bun so tight that it pulls their faces tight) with at least 6 dangly faux-gold earings in each ear. Also often seen pushing a pram round shopping centers while chain-smoking and wearing fake burberry or nasty velour tracksuits. A favourite accessory is a hideous gold articulated clown dangling from a thick gold chain around their pimply acne scarred necks. Male chavs hang around in gangs spitting alot and trying to start fights with small children or anyone else that they could easily overpower (which really is just small children!). Once they are of driving age they obtain a clapped out old Nova or Metro and then spend a fortune (no one knows where this money comes from, it is one of the many mysteries of the chav) "maxing it up" with big wheels, sound systems and a huge "wanker pipe" exhaust. Chavs can be seen in any copy of Max Power magazine proudly displaying their efforts at automotive design - tossers !!! Look at the 20 inchers on me Nova, it's well phat innit! Bling Bling!
|
|||
|
|
|||
| 6. | chav | ||
|
Emerging British subculture which is quickly becoming an epidemic. Chavs can be found the length and breadth of the country, hanging around any junk food outlet, off licence or just hanging around the streets, where they pass the time by vandalising property, drinking cheap cider, shouting abuse at passers by and terrorising old people.
more...
Appearance: Chavs have a strict dress code. Designer labels are everything, although knocked off/fake items are almost de-rigeur. Typically, the male chav will wear a Nickelson or Schott hooded top, baggy tracksuit trousers, white designer trainers, and a baseball cap by burberry or Nike. The female chav (chavette) will have peroxide blonde hair scrunched so tight into a pony tail with colourful scrunchies that her forehead stretches. She will wear a dark blue tracksuit with white stripes, an enormous puffa jacket, hoop earrings, and white trainers. Female chavs are forbidden from wearing socks, and all chavs must wear as much fake gold jewellery as they can fit on their bodies. Mobiles are an added status symbol, and when equipped, the chav must shout into it in the most anti-social way possible, using at least one expletive and the word "innit" per second. Every other word in between should be unrecognisable to non-chavs. Cars: Typically the Vauxhall Nova, but could include Ford Escort/Orion, Vauxhall Astra, and for chavs with "bling", even a totally shagged 3 series BMW. Whatever the type of car, it must have a spoiler shaped plank... |
|||
| 7. | chav | ||
|
The male of the species, the 'chav', is often to be found lurking in braying packs close to fast food outlets or late night stores. It displays a distinctive livery with which it attempts to attract the female ('chavette') - most commonly, the Burberry-effect baseball cap (placed at a jaunty angle, sometimes partially covering the face - this is known in some cultures as 'snidey'); the 'sports' clothing (this is somewhat confusing as the chav is not renowned for its athletic abilities) and countless items of 'bling' (Chav patois meaning jewellery or other adornments). The origins of said 'bling' are various as the chav typically possesses neither a means of employment or indeed any type of education. Chavettes, meanwhile, tend to have hair in at least two colours, ill-fitting tops and white tracksuit tops (usually Kappa). Note their ornate 'love bites': tribal cicatrices around the neck, usually perpetrated by a near-toothless male known as Kev, Daz, Gaz, Baz, Tez or some other monosyllabic name.
more...
Health and Education Chavs can often be seen smoking - an activity which causes them to spit and cough, but only in public places (see above). They imbibe alcohol, normally in the form of cheap lager / cider normally obtained illegally. This often gives them the impression that they are 'hard' and they will thus attempt to start fights with anyone/thing smaller than them. However, upon retaliation of their prey they tend to run away. Chavs are, believe it or not, to be fo... |
|||


