The alpha-male species of the chav is commonly seen hanging around almost any street corner or outside Mc Donald’s at night on a week day. They are easily identifiable, they wear baseball caps or hoods, “sports label” tracksuit trousers with socks tucked in to them, as an identification of rank (the higher the socks, the higher the Chavvy status), they ‘trend knock-off trainers’ and can typically be seen in mock Burberry
clothing. Their combat experience to accompany their rank can be distinguished by the amount of battle honours (or ASBO
The female of the species, or Chavette
, can usually be identified pushing a pram around shopping centers or pubs smoking, drinking (commonly ‘XXXX’ or ‘special brew extra strength’) and swearing at the infant, or Chavlette. The ‘Croydon Facelift’
(where the hair is tied back into a bun so tightly that it stretches the skin on their face backwards) is common among the females as is cheap, imitation gold jewelry (or ‘bling’). The females status can usually be accurately judged by the sheer enormity of it’s hoped gold earrings.
The common Chav holds it’s own dialect, known as ‘Chavish
’. Scientists have worked to try and understand this strange dialect for years but to no avail, however they were able to establish that Chav’s have very small brains and an exceptionally low IQ and common sense. The only bits of chavish you may be able to understand are the frequent and graphic swearing that the chav learns from it’s chavette mother at an early age.
Their recreational hobbies include ‘Maxing it up’ in their cheap and nasty old bangers (commonly the Nova
, although a high ranking chav may drive a golden chariot (known commonly as a Saxo). They spend a fortune on large wheels and rims or alloys, LED colored lights (the reason for this is still unknown) and the most common accessory of all – the ‘wanker pipe’. This being a large exhaust or exhaust tip fitted to the exhaust system of the car which seems to simply ruin the sound of the engine. It is still however unbeknown to experts exactly what is the source of all this wealth. However it may be due to their frequent sponsorship deals with ‘Max Power Magazine
’ proudly displaying their half-arsed efforts at automotive design.
1. "Look at those scum-bag chavs"
2. "What the hell is that stupid chav shouting at us?"
"I don't know, he's shouting in chavish".
Picture this a young lad about 12 years of age and 4 ½ feet high baseball cap at ninety degrees in a imitation addidas tracksuit, with trouser legs tucked into his socks (of course, is definitely the height of fashion). This lad is strutting around, fag in one hand jewellery al over the over, outside McDonalds acting as if he is 8 foot tall and built like a rugby player, when some poor unsuspecting adult (about 17/18) walks round the corner wanting to go to mcdonalds for his dinner glances at the young lad, the young lad jumps up in complete disgust and says “Whats your problem? Wanna make sommin of it? Bling Bling” when the adult starts to walk towards the young lad, the young lad pisses himself and runs off to either his pregnant 14-year-old girlfriend or his brother in the army crying his eyes out.
My mate has become a chav what can i do? answer is shoot him before it is too late
Derived from Chatham in Kent, this term can be applied loosely to every culture with a nasty, thieving element. There are many variants of this creature but all are subject to the following commonalities:
Chavs are completely Amoral, having never been subjected to right and wrong by their inattentive, uncaring and often absent parents.
Chavs are part Magpie
, evidentially supported by their love of all things shiny, or as vaccuous, illiterate street-slang would say 'Bling
'. They can be seen twokking from the Jewelry counter in Argos
Whatever their ethnic background, Chavs have a built-in affinity to hip-hop/R&B, even if they are inherently racist (see the Scottish
). They see their life as glamorous and cool.
Chavs are for the most part, extremely stupid. However, some of them render a form of low cunning, which can be misinterpreted as intelligence. However this is false. A Chav has no desire to better themself through honest means nor learn anything outside of car modification.
All chavs think that they are nails
. Again, this is false. Sitting in a beaten up nova smoking lamberts does not precipitate a healthy body. The irony being that a Chav owns mainly sportswear, yet will on...
Chav - Sub species of human
Commonly thought to be of inferior intellect, the Chavette surprises us with its cunning plan to avoid taking up a professional career and provide itself with free accommodation supplied by tax payers by spawning multi coloured mini chavs at a early stage in life, usually mid teens.
Clearly recognisable by their distinctive tribal Burberry they congregate in town centres and on street corners, Chavs have a reputation of being creative with public property and motor vehicles, building themselves Chaviots out of mechcano sets and strip lighting, and providing us with humorous banta written on toilet walls like ‘Shit’ and ‘Tasha woz ere’ in an attempt to relieve our boredom while urinating.
Their language is a basic form of English thus avoiding any words they cannot spell or pronounce, even to the extent of creating new words only they know the meaning of.
Hunting in large groups Chavs will single out the weakest, smallest prey and attack it without mercy avoiding any personal injury and insuring victory.
Chavs unfortunately don't yet fall into the category of rodent and in effect cannot be bludgeoned to death under the guise of pest control. Darn!-
I think I speak for everyone when I say thank you Chavs for the great contribution you’ve made to this country, you’ve made it what it what it is today – a shit hole.
also see: Burdon on society.
Chavs are retards who think that they're rebels and also think that their local McDonalds is a 5-star restraunt.
Male chavs wear clothes and jewellry which come from a market, they have a attitude problem and smoke since the age of 11.
Female chavs wear tight trousers and when they sit down they're thongs show, have fake blonde hair as straight as an ironing board or they have the "croydon face-lift", they lost their virginity at the age of 14, they have a attitide problem and they have really really bad teeth.
Chavs also use stupid words such as "safe" or "mint" or "y'wot?" or "quali'ee" or my favourite "innit" what are they trying to say?, it's like trying to communicate with a dog.
you usually find them in your local bus stop or your local town.
In my local area they're are loads of chavs
Chav can be a noun, verb or an adjective. As in “you shitty scum chav”, or “Hey I like the way you have chavved up ya car/wardrobe/lifestyle/language” etc.
The origins of the word itself are unclear and there are a few theories, perhaps all of them correct. Nonetheless, the current criteria for being a chav applies as laid out in this dictionary and no doubt, as culture dumbs-down even more, the definition will need to be updated. Chavs will no doubt eventually, despite their in-bred lack of intelligence, cotton-on to the fact that burberry and it’s current associations foster great hatred and negativity amongst the majority of the population. This factor however, could backfire, as Chavs could consider the perpetuation of hatred and negativity as a great contribution to humanity, even if it is directed towards themselves from others.
The most recent example of a celebrity Chav is Kenzie in Big Brother. (I can’t remember the name of the boy-band he is in – so uncool – but I know it had the word “Crew” or “Squad” whatever, in the name). In fact, Kenzie actually said “no” initially to being in the BB house, but when he thought long and hard about it, decided to say yes as the word “brother” as in, “bruv-va” or “bruv” for short, sounded cool and he thought it would really do wonders for his street-cred. Kenzie is actually white, but to see his clothes and hear him speak, you would think he is black.
Chavism represents a cultural link with the Trailer Park Tra...
Oh the simple Chav, what a constant source of amusement you are!
Chavs are the dregs of human existence. They live merely to piss everyone else off with their love of crap clothing and manky gold jewellery.
They have taken the wearing of tracksuits and baseball caps to a new level of pikieness.
Chav girls (or chavettes) commonly sport the Croydon Facelift (hair pulled back in a bun so tight that it pulls their faces tight) with at least 6 dangly faux-gold earings in each ear. Also often seen pushing a pram round shopping centers while chain-smoking and wearing fake burberry or nasty velour tracksuits. A favourite accessory is a hideous gold articulated clown dangling from a thick gold chain around their pimply acne scarred necks.
Male chavs hang around in gangs spitting alot and trying to start fights with small children or anyone else that they could easily overpower (which really is just small children!). Once they are of driving age they obtain a clapped out old Nova or Metro and then spend a fortune (no one knows where this money comes from, it is one of the many mysteries of the chav) "maxing it up" with big wheels, sound systems and a huge "wanker pipe" exhaust. Chavs can be seen in any copy of Max Power magazine proudly displaying their efforts at automotive design - tossers !!!
Look at the 20 inchers on me Nova, it's well phat innit! Bling Bling!
They are the scum of the earth...need i say more????
Filth hanging outside McDonalds in large groups attempting to look remotely intimidating.