| 33. | Chav | ||
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The origins of the word are the mid-19th century Romany word chavi, meaning "delinquent male youth". It is sometimes defined as "male youth" but that is in fact inaccurate as the word is intend to carry a negative meaning much as calling a young child a "brat" in English.
The first known recorded history of the words usage comes from a story written in London citing trouble with young people distrubing graves in the London area simply as a means of disrepect. The story was based on an issue brought to light by the Church of England. History: A local London church (who had the position of owning the a graveyard at that time)had informed the Church of England calling upon its huge power and influence to resolve an issue of local youths disrupting its graveyard. When the church questioned locals it was revealed by local immigrants that the problems came from young Romany which they called "chavi". The immigrants claimed the incidents had no evil motives are were just an example of badly behaved youths playing a prank. The word enjoyed a period of widespread use around the time but then disappeared from mainstream until around 1988 when a major new service ran a story citing a similiar incident. The source of the story is unknown but it is known to have used the word "Chavi" because a court case followed due to the enthic orgin of the word and the way it was used in the story. The story was again about an issue in London and the paper first ran there. There have been many claims that the word came from Scotland or the Northern areas of England but these claims are in fact false and show a lack of knowledge of the etymology of the word. Another untrue claim of the word is the spelling should be "charv" with the explanation being that the word comes from "charver". In fact this is incorrect as the word "charver" roughly translates to a "prositute or someone who sacrifices their bodies to gain wealth" and the words popularity is directly related to a sub-culture in Britain where as the members generally do not work (ruling out charver completely) and are social deviates. Probably the most accurate definition of a Chav would be: members of the lower class; uneducated and ignorant people with little regard of the legal system or without respect for the society inwhich they live. Everywhere you look Britian is full of chav scum.
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| 1. | chav | ||
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Picture this a young lad about 12 years of age and 4 ½ feet high baseball cap at ninety degrees in a imitation addidas tracksuit, with trouser legs tucked into his socks (of course, is definitely the height of fashion). This lad is strutting around, fag in one hand jewellery al over the over, outside McDonalds acting as if he is 8 foot tall and built like a rugby player, when some poor unsuspecting adult (about 17/18) walks round the corner wanting to go to mcdonalds for his dinner glances at the young lad, the young lad jumps up in complete disgust and says “Whats your problem? Wanna make sommin of it? Bling Bling” when the adult starts to walk towards the young lad, the young lad pisses himself and runs off to either his pregnant 14-year-old girlfriend or his brother in the army crying his eyes out. My mate has become a chav what can i do? answer is shoot him before it is too late
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| 2. | chav | ||
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Derived from Chatham in Kent, this term can be applied loosely to every culture with a nasty, thieving element. There are many variants of this creature but all are subject to the following commonalities:
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Chavs are completely Amoral, having never been subjected to right and wrong by their inattentive, uncaring and often absent parents. Chavs are part Magpie, evidentially supported by their love of all things shiny, or as vaccuous, illiterate street-slang would say 'Bling'. They can be seen twokking from the Jewelry counter in Argos/Index. Whatever their ethnic background, Chavs have a built-in affinity to hip-hop/R&B, even if they are inherently racist (see the Scottish). They see their life as glamorous and cool. Chavs are for the most part, extremely stupid. However, some of them render a form of low cunning, which can be misinterpreted as intelligence. However this is false. A Chav has no desire to better themself through honest means nor learn anything outside of car modification. All chavs think that they are nails. Again, this is false. Sitting in a beaten up nova smoking lamberts does not precipitate a healthy body. The irony being that a Chav owns mainly sportswear, yet will ... |
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| 3. | Chav | ||
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Chav - Sub species of human
Commonly thought to be of inferior intellect, the Chavette surprises us with its cunning plan to avoid taking up a professional career and provide itself with free accommodation supplied by tax payers by spawning multi coloured mini chavs at a early stage in life, usually mid teens. Clearly recognisable by their distinctive tribal Burberry they congregate in town centres and on street corners, Chavs have a reputation of being creative with public property and motor vehicles, building themselves Chaviots out of mechcano sets and strip lighting, and providing us with humorous banta written on toilet walls like ‘Shit’ and ‘Tasha woz ere’ in an attempt to relieve our boredom while urinating. Their language is a basic form of English thus avoiding any words they cannot spell or pronounce, even to the extent of creating new words only they know the meaning of. Hunting in large groups Chavs will single out the weakest, smallest prey and attack it without mercy avoiding any personal injury and insuring victory. Chavs unfortunately don't yet fall into the category of rodent and in effect cannot be bludgeoned to death under the guise of pest control. Darn!- I think I speak for everyone when I say thank you Chavs for the great contribution you’ve made to this country, you’ve made it what it what it is today – a shit hole. also see: Burdon on society.
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| 4. | Chav | ||
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Chav can be a noun, verb or an adjective. As in “you shitty scum chav”, or “Hey I like the way you have chavved up ya car/wardrobe/lifestyle/language” etc.
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The origins of the word itself are unclear and there are a few theories, perhaps all of them correct. Nonetheless, the current criteria for being a chav applies as laid out in this dictionary and no doubt, as culture dumbs-down even more, the definition will need to be updated. Chavs will no doubt eventually, despite their in-bred lack of intelligence, cotton-on to the fact that burberry and it’s current associations foster great hatred and negativity amongst the majority of the population. This factor however, could backfire, as Chavs could consider the perpetuation of hatred and negativity as a great contribution to humanity, even if it is directed towards themselves from others. The most recent example of a celebrity Chav is Kenzie in Big Brother. (I can’t remember the name of the boy-band he is in – so uncool – but I know it had the word “Crew” or “Squad” whatever, in the name). In fact, Kenzie actually said “no” initially to being in the BB house, but when he thought long and hard about it, decided to say yes as the word “brother” as in, “bruv-va” or “bruv” for short, sounded cool and he thought it would really do wonders for his street-cred. Kenzie is actually white, but to see his clothes and hear him speak, you would think he is black. Chavism represents a cultural link with the Trailer Park Tra... |
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| 5. | chav | ||
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Oh the simple Chav, what a constant source of amusement you are!
Chavs are the dregs of human existence. They live merely to piss everyone else off with their love of crap clothing and manky gold jewellery. They have taken the wearing of tracksuits and baseball caps to a new level of pikieness. Chav girls (or chavettes) commonly sport the Croydon Facelift (hair pulled back in a bun so tight that it pulls their faces tight) with at least 6 dangly faux-gold earings in each ear. Also often seen pushing a pram round shopping centers while chain-smoking and wearing fake burberry or nasty velour tracksuits. A favourite accessory is a hideous gold articulated clown dangling from a thick gold chain around their pimply acne scarred necks. Male chavs hang around in gangs spitting alot and trying to start fights with small children or anyone else that they could easily overpower (which really is just small children!). Once they are of driving age they obtain a clapped out old Nova or Metro and then spend a fortune (no one knows where this money comes from, it is one of the many mysteries of the chav) "maxing it up" with big wheels, sound systems and a huge "wanker pipe" exhaust. Chavs can be seen in any copy of Max Power magazine proudly displaying their efforts at automotive design - tossers !!! Look at the 20 inchers on me Nova, it's well phat innit! Bling Bling!
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| 6. | chav | ||
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Emerging British subculture which is quickly becoming an epidemic. Chavs can be found the length and breadth of the country, hanging around any junk food outlet, off licence or just hanging around the streets, where they pass the time by vandalising property, drinking cheap cider, shouting abuse at passers by and terrorising old people.
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Appearance: Chavs have a strict dress code. Designer labels are everything, although knocked off/fake items are almost de-rigeur. Typically, the male chav will wear a Nickelson or Schott hooded top, baggy tracksuit trousers, white designer trainers, and a baseball cap by burberry or Nike. The female chav (chavette) will have peroxide blonde hair scrunched so tight into a pony tail with colourful scrunchies that her forehead stretches. She will wear a dark blue tracksuit with white stripes, an enormous puffa jacket, hoop earrings, and white trainers. Female chavs are forbidden from wearing socks, and all chavs must wear as much fake gold jewellery as they can fit on their bodies. Mobiles are an added status symbol, and when equipped, the chav must shout into it in the most anti-social way possible, using at least one expletive and the word "innit" per second. Every other word in between should be unrecognisable to non-chavs. Cars: Typically the Vauxhall Nova, but could include Ford Escort/Orion, Vauxhall Astra, and for chavs with "bling", even a totally shagged 3 series BMW. Whatever the type of car, it must have a spoiler shaped plank... |
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| 7. | chav | ||
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The male of the species, the 'chav', is often to be found lurking in braying packs close to fast food outlets or late night stores. It displays a distinctive livery with which it attempts to attract the female ('chavette') - most commonly, the Burberry-effect baseball cap (placed at a jaunty angle, sometimes partially covering the face - this is known in some cultures as 'snidey'); the 'sports' clothing (this is somewhat confusing as the chav is not renowned for its athletic abilities) and countless items of 'bling' (Chav patois meaning jewellery or other adornments). The origins of said 'bling' are various as the chav typically possesses neither a means of employment or indeed any type of education. Chavettes, meanwhile, tend to have hair in at least two colours, ill-fitting tops and white tracksuit tops (usually Kappa). Note their ornate 'love bites': tribal cicatrices around the neck, usually perpetrated by a near-toothless male known as Kev, Daz, Gaz, Baz, Tez or some other monosyllabic name.
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Health and Education Chavs can often be seen smoking - an activity which causes them to spit and cough, but only in public places (see above). They imbibe alcohol, normally in the form of cheap lager / cider normally obtained illegally. This often gives them the impression that they are 'hard' and they will thus attempt to start fights with anyone/thing smaller than them. However, upon retaliation of their prey they tend to run away. Chavs are, believe it or not, to be fo... |
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